


Eddward Wright: Ace Attorney

by rcmero



Series: Eddward Wright: Ace Attorney [1]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy, Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Adaptation, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, Novelization, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rcmero/pseuds/rcmero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifteen years have passed since the end of the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/series/43703">Port-Ed series</a>. Most of the cast is now grown up and having a work of their own.</p>
<p>Edd decided to take a job as a defense attorney. Boy, was that risky.</p>
<p><b>TV Tropes page:</b> <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/EddwardWrightAceAttorney">http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/EddwardWrightAceAttorney</a></p>
<p><i><b>Warning:</b> This story contains spoilers to elements found in the ending of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/778749">Port-Ed 2</a>. If you don't want those elements to be spoiled for you, do </i>not<i> read this story and wait for me to finish that story first.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Friend In Need

**Author's Note:**

> Remember in the first chapter of [Port-Ed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/778634) when I said I had a story that followed that series?
> 
> Yeah, this is the one.
> 
> As a little bit of trivia, I originally wrote this story a couple of years ago. Had the entirety of Episode 2 fully written. But that is [Lost Forever](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LostForever) now.
> 
> Oh yeah, and here's the logo I made for this fanfic. I suck at drawing, so it's not as good as the ones from my previous stories.  
> 
> 
> The logo--specifically, the idea of having the logos from both series in it--was based off of this image ( **EPIC FORESHADOWING** ):  
> 

_"*gasp*... *gasp*..._  
 _Dammit! ...Why me?_  
 _I can't get caught... Not like this!_  
 _I-I've gotta find someone to pin this on..._  
 _Someone like... him!_  
 _I'll make it look like HE did it!"_

* * *

**August 1, 11:00 AM**  
 **Peach Creek**  
 **Eddy's House**

Eddy was busy playing his favorite computer game: Team Fortress 2. Eddy tricked out the graphics to tweak his finest interests. He was currently playing with his favorite class, the Scout, running to get the intelligence. Some of the players did call Eddy a "noob" and a "useless F2Per who can't even shoot a gun". They all got blasted by Eddy's Force-a-Nature though.

Just as Eddy's gained possession of the enemy's intelligence, his phone rang. Eddy quickly answered the phone before he got shot.

"Talk to me," he started.  
" _Pancake head Ed-boy, is that you?_ " came out of the other side.  
"Rolfy-boy! Long time since we talked! Whatcha tellin'?"  
" _Stop with your mindless amusements, Ed-boy! Rolf requires your assistance!_ "  
"Drop it."  
" _Speak English, Ed-boy! Rolf does not understand your slang._ "  
"I don't understand your slang either, Rolf, but you don't see me complainin'. Anyway, what's your problem?"  
" _Well, you see, Rolf has been accused of a crime he has not commited!_ "  
"What kind of crime?"  
" _They call it 'murder' but Rolf does not understand it._ "  
"A murder basically means ya killed somebody," Eddy explained as he finished killing off an enemy spy.  
" _But Rolf did not kill anybody! This is all a big mistake!_ "  
"So lemme guess, you're in jail?"  
" _Yes, Ed-boy. Rolf has been allowed one phone call to obtain, how do you say? A defense attorney?_ "  
"A lawyer, hey? Well today's your lucky day, Rolfy-boy!"  
" _Why, Ed-boy? You know of a defense attorney?_ "  
"Totally. Ya know Double D, right?"  
" _Head-in-sock Ed-boy, yes. Why is in in this?_ "  
"He's a lawyer."

Pause.

" _You are playing with Rolf's biscuit, Ed-boy! If head-in-sock Ed-boy was a defense attorney, Rolf would be informed!_ "  
"He hasn't been in a case yet. That's why ya didn't know it."  
" _Then how come you know it, Ed-boy?_ "  
"I've heard a lot from Double D. He keeps tellin' me and Ed about his trainin'. Apparently it's goin' very nice."  
" _And is head-in-sock Ed-boy ready to, how do you say? Defend Rolf?_ "  
"I'm sure he's ready. I'll just give him a ring and inform him of our talk, and he'll be happy to defend ya!"  
" _I trust you, Ed-boy!_ "  
"Don't worry, Double D will get ya off the hook. When's the trial anyway?"  
" _Rolf was informed that it is the day after tomorrow._ "  
"That should give him some time. I'll be sure to call him right now. I'll be seein' ya at the trial, Rolfy."

And with that, Eddy hung up the phone. He quickly moved the enemy intelligence towards his base and returned to spawn. Once he was there, he dialed a new number on the phone.

"Double D? Ya got a case."

* * *

**August 3, 9:47 AM**  
 **Peach Creek District Court**  
 **Defendant Lobby No. 2**

_(Boy am I nervous!)_ Edd thought to himself. ( _Eddy's informed me of this trial in such a short time, and it was an old friend, how could I deny?)  
_ "Double D!"

Edd looked forward and he saw two familiar faces: his best friend Eddy and his mentor Mia Fey.

"Eddy, Chief! Glad you could make it!"  
"We're just glad we made it in time," Eddy started. "Don't worry, Double D. It's in the bag."  
"I have to say though, Eddward, I'm impressed!" Mia added. "Not everyone takes on a murder trial right off the bat like this. It says a lot about you... and your client as well."

Edd didn't quite know what to say, so he just gave a simple thank you.

"Actually, my client is a very good friend of mine," Edd added. "We've known each other since we were kids. I owe a lot to him. I want to help him out any way I can."

Suddenly, a new voice was heard in the building.

" _It's over! Rolf's life, everything, all ruined!"_  
"Isn't that your client screaming over there?" Mia asked Edd.  
"It sure sounds like that," Edd responded.  
"Wonder what's Rolf's problem," Eddy noted. "He didn't sound like that on the phone."  
" _Death! Despair! Ohhhh! Rolf's gonna do it, Rolf's gonna die!_ "  
"It sounds like he wants to die..."  
"That is clearly not Rolf," Eddy noted once more.

Rolf turned towards Edd, gaining his attention.

"Head-in-sock Ed-boy!"  
"Oh hello there, Rolf."

Pause. Rolf was trying to find what to say.

"Tell them I'm guilty, Ed-boy! Rolf begs of you!"  
"But ya told me on the phone that ya didn't do it!" Eddy yelled. "What's your problem now?"  
"It's all over, flat as a pancake head Ed-boy... Rolf's finished... finished!"  
"Is it a girl again, Rolf?" asked Eddy.  
"Yes, Ed-boy... Rolf did not tell you this on the phone because Rolf did not want you to worry. But..." Rolf turned his gaze towards Edd. "who took her away from Rolf, head-in-sock Ed-boy? Who did it? You have to tell Rolf, Ed-boy!"  
" _(Hmm... the person responsible for your girlfriend's death?_ Edd thought to himself. _The local paper says it was **you**...)_ "

* * *

_My name is Eddward Wright. Here is the story: my first case is a fairly simple one. A young woman was killed in her apartment. The guy they arrested was the unlucky man dating her:_

_Rolf_ _Yolkvolt_ _... one of my best friends since junior high. Rolf seems to keep getting himself into trouble lately, I don't know why. One thing I can truly say though, it's usually not his fault. He just has terrible luck._

_But I know, better than anybody, that he's a good guy at heart. That and I owe him one. Which is the reason I took the case the second Eddy mentioned it to me... to clear his name. And that's just what I'm going to do!_

* * *

**August 3, 10:00 AM**  
 **Peach Creek District Court**  
 **Courtroom No. 2**

Eddy was currently among the crowd, on one of the best seats to watch the trial. An empty seat next to him was reserved for his friend Ed. He's never on time to anything. Then again, Ed and Eddy were always late for school.

As if on cue, Ed quickly came towards Eddy's position.

"Am I late?"  
"You're lucky the trial's just startin', Ed. Sit down."  
"I didn't know it was at 10 AM, Eddy!" Ed yelled as he sat down next to Eddy.  
"The trials are always at 10 AM, Ed! Ya need to wake up earlier!"  
"If only Sarah would warn me to wake me up..."  
"Sarah's not your alarm clock, Ed! Ya need to wake up yaself!"

A bang of the judge's gavel made Ed and Eddy stop their pointless argument. The trial had begun.

"The court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Rolf Yolkvolt."  
"The prosecution is ready, Your Honor."  
"The, um, defense is ready, Your Honor."

The judge noticed Edd's worried voice.

"Mr. Wright, this is your first trial, is it not?"  
"Y-yes, Your Honor," Edd responded. "I am, um, a bit nervous."  
"Your conduct during this trial will decide the fate of your client. Murder is a serious charge. For your client's sake, I hope you can control your nerves."  
"Thank... thank you, Your Honor." Edd still felt his voice being all shaky, as he was still very nervous.

The judge was silent for a short while.

"Mr. Wright, given the circumstances," he started, "I think we should have a test to ascertain your readiness."  
"Yes, Your Honor. _(Gulp... hands shaking... eyesight... fading...)_ "  
"The test will consist of a few simple questions," the judge explained. "Answer them clearly and concisely. Now then, please state the name of the **defendant** for this case."

Edd immediately knew the answer to the first question.

"The defendant? Why, that's Rolf Yolkvolt, Your Honor."  
"Correct. Just keep your wits about you and you'll do fine."  
"Double D had to know the answer to that one!" Eddy told Ed. "I mean, he and Rolf have been friends for years!"  
"Next question," the judge continued. "This is a murder trial. Tell me, what's the **victim's name**?"  
"The victim's name? I don't think Rolf told me that on the phone."  
"You sure, Eddy?"  
"Quite sure, Ed. Yet I think Double D knows it anyway. He's read the case report cover to cover so many times."

Eddy looked down and saw Edd's worried look.

"Uh-oh."  
"What's the problem, Eddy?"  
"What a time for Double D to forget a crucial detail! He's drawing a total blank here! Not like him at all! What's with people these days?"

Mia noticed Edd's worried face and spoke up.

"Eddward! Are you absolutely SURE you're up to this? You don't even know the victim's name!"  
"Of course I know this victim's name!" Edd tried to explain. "I, um... just forgot. Temporarily."  
"Not like ya at all, Double D!" Eddy yelled out.  
"I think I feel a migraine coming up. Look, the victim's name is listed in the **Court Record**. Remember to check it often. Do it for me, please. I'm begging you."  
"Let's hear your answer," the judge requested. "Who is the **victim** in this case?"

A quick check of the victim's autopsy report gave Edd the answer.

"Um... the victim's name is Cindy Stone."  
"Correct. Now tell me, what was the cause of death?"

Another check of the autopsy report gave Edd the answer.

"She was struck once, by a blunt object."  
"Correct. You've answered all my questions. I see no reason why we shouldn't proceed."

Pause.

"You seem much more relaxed now, Mr. Wright. Good for you."  
"Thank you, Your Honor. _(Because I do not FEEL relaxed, that's for sure.)_ "  
"Well then, first a question for the prosecution. Mr. Payne?"  
"Yes, Your Honor?"  
"I know that guy..." Eddy said to nobody in particular.  
"What are ya talkin' about, Eddy?"  
"I saw a lot of this guy's trials on TV. Some call him the Rookie Killer. They say every lawyer he has been up against has been defeated and never defended again. Well, almost every lawyer."  
"As Mr. Wright just told us," the judge continued, "the victim was struck with a blunt object. Would you explain to the court just what this 'object' was?"

Mr. Payne presented a statue to the court. The statue had a golden colour and was standing on a cinder block, which was its base. He explained that this was the murder weapon and it was a statue of _The Thinker_. He also explained that it was found lying on the floor, near the victim.

"I see... the court accepts it into evidence."

_Statue added to the Court Record._

"Have ya seen that statue before, Ed?" Eddy asked Ed.  
"Nope," was Ed's response.  
"I wonder how Rolf got it..."  
"Mr. Payne," the judge requested, "the prosecution may call its first witness."  
"The prosecution calls the defendant, Mr. Yolkvolt, to the stand."  
"I think this is the point where witnesses come to the stand," Eddy told Ed.  
"But Rolf's not a witness," Ed noted.  
"Well, yeah, but still Double D should pay attention and not miss anythin'. He'll have his chance to fight back."  
"How do you know so much about trials, Eddy?" Ed asked Eddy.  
"Since Double D became a lawyer I've been watchin' a lotta trials on TV. Getting everythin' I need to get. Get it now, Ed?"  
"I guess..."  
"I just hope Rolf doesn't screw himself--and us--up."  
"But Rolf gets easily mad, Eddy!"  
"Then this could be bad..."

* * *

"Mr. Yolkvolt," the prosecutor began, "is it not true that the victim had recently dumped you?"  
"That is not true you raphscallion!" Rolf responded. "Rolf and her were great together! Like, how do you say? Romeo and Juliet! Cleopatra and Mark Anthony!"  
"Didn't they all die, Rolf?" Ed yelled out.  
"Shut up Ed!" Eddy yelled back.  
"Rolf wasn't dumped, as you say! She was just not taking Rolf's phone calls. Or seeing Rolf... Ever."  
"Surprised ya know how to use a phone, Rolf!" Ed yelled out.  
"I said shut up already Ed!" Eddy yelled back.  
"Mr. Yolkvolt, what you described is what generally what we mean by dumped," Mr. Payne explained. "In fact, she completely abandoned you... and was seeing other men! She had just returned overseas with one of them the day before the murder!"  
"What do you men, 'one of them'?" asked Rolf. "Lies, all lies! Rolf sees your intentions!"  
"I'm clean, Rolf!" Eddy said to Rolf. "I know I'm a hit with the chicks, but I'm clean this time!"

Mr. Payne presented a blue passport to the court.

"Your Honor, the victim's passport. According to this, she was in Paris until the day before she died."

_Passport added to the Court Record._

"Indeed, she appears to have returned the day before the murder," the judge added.  
"No way..." Rolf had a blank look in his face.  
"The victim was a model, but didn't have a large income. It appears that she had several 'sugar daddies'."  
"Daddies? Sugar? What nonsense language do you speak?"  
"You see, I'm talking about older men, who gave her money and gifts. She took their money and used it to support her lifestyle."  
"I wouldn't mind havin' older chicks give me money and gifts," Eddy noted.  
"We can clearly see what kind of woman this Ms. Stone was," Mr. Payne continued. "Tell me, Mr. Yolkvolt, **what do you think of her now?** "  
"I don't think Double D wants Rolf to answer that question..." Eddy noted.  
"Rolf does have a way of runnin' his mouth in all the wrong way..." said Ed. "What are we gonna do?"  
"I know Double D..." was Eddy's response.

Down below, Edd noticed the situation as well and knew just what to do.

"My client had no idea the victim was seeing other men!" he said. "That question is irrelevant to this case!"  
"Head in sock Ed-boy, what are you saying? What do you mean 'irrelevant'?" Pause. "That cheating son of a gun... Rolf's just gonna drop dead! And when Rolf meets her in the afterlife... Rolf's going to get the bottom of this! Rolf will give her the all mighty three shoe beating! Twice!"

Pause.

"I believe the accused's motive is clear to everyone," Mr. Payne continued.  
"Yes, quite," the judge agreed.  
 _(This is not looking good...)_ Edd thought to himself.  
"Now then, next question!" Mr. Payne proceeded. "You went to the victim's apartment on the day of the murder, did you not?"

Rolf gave out a small gulp.

"Well, did you, or did you not?"  
"Well maybe Rolf did, maybe Rolf did not! Do you have a problem, yes, no?"  
 _(Uh oh... he went),_ Edd thought to himself. He then gave out a signal for Rolf.  
"Oh I get it! Tell the truth! Nice signal Double D!" Ed noted.

Rolf noticed Edd's signal.

"Er... yes! Yes! Rolf was there! Rolf cannot lie!"

Surprised gasps from the audience came out, causing the judge to retain order.

"She was not home, so Rolf did not see her!"  
" **Objection!** Your Honor, the defendant is lying."  
"Whaddaya mean lyin'?" Eddy yelled out.  
"The prosecution would like to call in a **witness** who can prove Mr. Yolkvolt is lying."  
"Well that simplifies matters. Who is your witness?" asked the judge.  
"The man who found the victim's body," answered Mr. Payne. "Just before making the gruesome discovery, he saw the defendant fleeing the scene of the crime!"  
"Mr. Payne, the prosecution may call in its witness."  
"Yes, Your Honor."  
 _(This is bad... in some way...)_ Edd thought to himself.  
"On the day of the murder, my witness was selling newspapers at the victim's building," Mr. Payne explained. "Please bring Mr. Frank Sahwit to the stand!"  
"Peach Creek sure is gettin' a lotta people lately, don't ya think, Eddy?" asked Ed.  
"Ya can say that again, Ed. Especially since _that_ happened..." Eddy noted.


	2. Mr. Did It!

"Mr. Sahwit, you sell newspaper subscriptions, is this correct?" Mr. Payne asked the person that was currently on the witness stand. He had black hair and a purple suit.  
"Oh, oh yes! Newspapers, yes!" Mr. Sahwit replied.  
"Mr. Sahwit, you may proceed with your testimony," the judge requested. "Please tell the court what you saw on the day of the murder."

>   
> _**Witness Testimony: Witness's Account** _   
> _I was going door to door, selling subscriptions when I saw a man fleeing an apartment. I thought he must be in a hurry because he left the door half-open behind him._   
> _Thinking it strange, I looked inside the apartment. Then I saw her lying there... a woman... not moving... dead! I quailed in fright and found myself unable to go inside._   
> _I thought to call the police immediately! However, the phone in her apartment wasn't working. I went to a nearby park and found a public phone._   
> _I remember the time exactly: 1:00 PM._   
> _The man who ran was, without a doubt, the defendant sitting right over there._   
> 

_(Why didn't Rolf just tell the truth...)_ Edd thought to himself. ( _I can't defend him against a testimony like that!)_  
"Incidentally, why wasn't the phone in the victim's apartment working?" asked the judge.  
"Your Honor, at the time of the murder, there was a blackout in the building," Mr. Payne responded.  
"Aren't phones supposed to work during a blackout?"  
"Yes, Your Honor, however, some cordless phones do not function normally. The phone that Mr. Sahwit used was one of those. I have a record of the blackout, for your perusal."

_Blackout Record added to the Court Record._

"Now, Mr. Wright," the judge continued. "You may begin your **cross-examination**."  
"I know that," Eddy noted. "Hope Double D knows that as well..."  
"This is it, Wright! The real deal!" Mia told Edd. "Now is the time to expose the lies in the testimony the witness just gave!"  
"Wait a moment, lies? He was lying?" Edd surprisingly asked.  
"Your client is innocent, right? Then that witness must have lied in his testimony! Or is your client really guilty?"  
"How do I prove he's not?"  
"Through the **evidence**! Compare the witness's testimony to the evidence at hand. There is bound to be a **contradiction** in there! First, find contradictions between the Court Record and the witness's testimony. Once you find the contradicting evidence, present it and rub it in the witness's face!"

Edd listened to the witness repeat the testimony. As he was doing so, one particular point caused suspicion on Edd.

"Are you sure you found the body at 1:00 PM?" he asked.  
"Yes, it was 1:00 PM, for sure," was the reply from Mr. Sahwit.  
"Frankly, that is hard to believe. Your statement directly contradicts the autopsy report. The autopsy notes the time of death at sometime after 4PM. There was nobody to... I mean... no 'body' to find at 1:00 PM! Please explain this three-hour gap!"

Mr. Sahwit gave out a gasp.

" **Objection!** This is trivial! The witness merely forgot the time!" Mr. Payne spoke up.  
"After his testimony, I find that hard to believe," the judge denied. "Mr. Sahwit, why were you so certain that you found the body at 1:00 PM?"

Mr. Sahwit had some difficulties in gaining the required response.

"That's the spirit, Double D!" Eddy yelled out. "Remember, lies ask for more lies! Always!"

Pause.

"Wait! I remember now!" Mr. Sahwit suddenly spoke up.  
"Would you care to give your testimony again?" asked the judge.

>   
> _**Witness Testimony: The Time of Discovery**  
>  You see, when I found the body, I heard the time. There was a voice saying the time... probably coming from the television. But it was three hours off, wasn't it? I guess the video must have been watching a video of a taped program. That's why I thought it was 1:00 PM! Terribly sorry about the misunderstanding..._   
> 

"I see..." the judge spoke up. "You heard a voice saying the time on a taped program. Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness."

Edd heard the witness repeat his testimony. Like before, there was one part of it that didn't quite sound right.

"Didn't the prosecution say there was a blackout at the time of the discovery? This record proves it."

Mr. Sahwit gave out a gasp.

"You couldn't have heard a television... or a video, actually."  
"The defense has a point," the judge agreed. "Do you have an explanation for this, Mr. Sahwit?"

Mr. Sahwit had some difficulties in gaining the required response.

"W-wait! I remember now!" he spoke up.  
"The court would prefer to hear an accurate testimony from the very beginning," the judge requested. "These constant corrections are harming your credibility. That, and you seem rather... distraught."  
"M-my apologies, Your Honor! It must have been the shock of finding the body!"  
"Did ya notice the way he was talkin', Eddy?" Ed asked Eddy.  
"Double D's got his number, I know it. I betcha he's the one who killed the girl."

>   
> _**Witness Testimony: Hearing the Time**  
>  Actually, I didn't "hear" the time... I "saw" it! There was a table clock in the apartment, wasn't there? Yeah, the murder weapon! The killer used it to hit the victim! That must have been what I saw._   
> 

"You saw a clock? I guess that would explain it," the judge spoke up. "The defense may cross-examine the witness."

As the witness was repeating his testimony, Ed and Eddy spoke to one another.

"Something about that seemed weird," started Ed.  
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Eddy replied. "Especially about the part about the murder weapon. I betcha that's not it."

As Eddy finished speaking, Edd reached the same conclusion and presented it.

"Y-you and your 'objections' and your 'evidence'... Just who do you think you are?" asked Mr. Sahwit.  
"A guy that's kickin' your ass, that's who!" Eddy yelled out.  
"I saw it there, okay! That's a clock!"  
"Your Honor, if I may..." Mr. Payne interrupted.  
"Yes, Mr. Payne?"  
"As the witness stated, this statue is indeed a clock. The neck is a switch. You tilt it, and it says the time out loud. As it doesn't look like a clock, I submitted it as a statue. My apologies."  
"I see... so the murder weapon was a table clock after all. Do you have any problems with the witness's testimony now, Mr. Wright?"  
"I guess not," was Edd's reply. "There was a clock on the scene, so I guess there is no problem..."  
"Are you outta ya mind, Double D?" Eddy yelled out as usual.  
"He's right," Mia concurred. "That clock doesn't look like a clock at all! The witness couldn't possibly known it was a clock just by seeing it! He said it himself, he did not enter the apartment! It was in his testimony!"  
"You... you're both right!"  
"Told ya!"

The judge noticed the argument and asked if the defense had anything to add.

"Yes... Yes, of course I do!" replied Edd with a confused face. "The only way the witness could have known the weapon was a clock is to hold it in his hand. Yet the witness testified that he never entered the apartment. Clearly a contradiction!"  
"Hmm... indeed!"  
"Mr. Sahwit, you were inside the apartment on the day of the murder!"  
"Oh yeah? Prove it!" dared Mr. Sahwit. "Prove I went in there!"  
"I can actually prove you were the one who killed her! You struck her with the clock, and the shock of the blow triggered the clock's voice! That was the sound you heard!"  
"Knew it! Knew it all along!" Eddy yelled out among the rest of the crowd's voices.

The judge banged his gavel to restore order.

"Intriging. Please continue, Mr. Wright."  
"Gladly, Your Honor. Mr. Sahwit, the sound must have made quite an impression on you. Understandable, since the murder weapon spoke just as you hit the victim! That voice was burned into your mind. That's why you were so certain about the time!"  
" **Objection!** W-w-what is the meaning of this? This is all baseless conjecture!"  
"Just look at the witness's face!"

Indeed, Mr. Sahwit had a face that looked like he was going to blow up.

"Would the witness care to elaborate?" the judge requested. "Did you strike the victim with the clock?"

Mr. Sahwit at first spoke out, for lack of a better term, nonsense gibberish. Suddenly, he took the wig he was wearing and threw it in a rage towards the crowd, landing on Eddy's face. The wig slowly slided down like melted butter. Eddy had nothing to say to this action.

"Shutupshutupshutup! I hate you! I-it was him, I tell you! I saw him! H-he killed her and he should burn! Burn! Give him death!"  
"What is this, the 1500's? You're the one who should die, ya dumbass!" Eddy yelled out among the rest of the crowd's voices.

The judge banged his gavel to restore order.

"Order! Order in the court I say!"  
"Okay! I'll have a cheeseburger with curly fries!" Ed yelled out.  
"Shut up, Ed!" Eddy yelled back.  
"Your Honor, a-a moment please..." Mr. Payne requested. "There isn't a shred of evidence supporting the defense's claims..."  
"Mr. Wright!" the judge yelled out. "You claim the sound the witness heard came from the clock... do you have any evidence?"  
"Yes, Your Honor. The evidence is the clock. To prove it, let's sound it right now, in this court."

And with that, Edd took the clock.

"I ask the court to listen very carefully..."

Edd tilted the clock's neck. A beep came out, and just as predicted, the clock gave out the time: 8:25.

"That certainly is a strange way to announce the time," the judge remarked.  
"Well, he is _The Thinker_ , after all," was Edd's reply.  
"What are your conclusions then, Mr. Wright?"  
"Can anybody tell me the current time?" Edd requested.

Eddy quickly checked the watch he had in his pulse.

"It's 11:25, Double D!"  
"Thank you, Eddy. As you can see, the clock is exactly three hours slow. Which is the discrepancy between what Mr. Sahwit heard and the actual time of death. So, Mr. Sahwit, try to talk your way out of this one!"

No response. After a while, Mr. Sahwit gave out a laugh.

"What's so funny, ya cheapskate?" Eddy yelled out.  
"All of you forgot one thing!"  
"What are ya talkin' about?"  
"While it may seem that the clock _IS_ running three hours slow... it proves nothing! How do you know it was running three hours slow _on the day of the murder_? You don't prove that, you don't have a case!"  
"Damnit, he's right!"  
"Mr. Wright?" the judge spoke up. "It seems you lack the critical evidence to support your claim. This means I can not let you indict the witness. Unfortunately..."

The judge banged his gavel and gave Mr. Sahwit's cross-examination as finished.

"I come all the way out here to testify, and look what happens! They treat me like a criminal! A criminal! You lawyers are all slime!"  
 _(I was so close... I almost had him...)_ Edd thought to himself. ( _Forgive me, Rolf... I have failed you... There is nothing I can do now...)_

Silence... Then suddenly...

" **Hold it!** Not so fast, Mr. Sahwit!"

Everybody was surpised, Edd moreso than the others.

"Mia! I mean, Chief!"  
"Listen up, Wright! Don't throw this one away, not like this! Think for a moment!"  
"But... it's over, Chief... I can't prove the clock was slow on the day of the murder! Nobody can!"  
"Um... well, yes. But that doesn't mean you can't still win! Try thinking outside the box! Don't doubt the facts! Assume the clock _was_ three hours slow and think through it! Ask yourself why! Figure it out, and you have your proof! Right, Wright?"

Pause.

"Wait a moment! I think I've got it! Maybe I can prove it!"  
"Well, Mr. Wright?" the judge spoke up. "You say the clock was already running slow on the day of the murder... do you have evidence to support this claim?"  
"But of course. I have a piece of evidence that can prove my claim beyond a doubt!"  
"Hah! Tough words! Let's see you pull this one off!"  
" **Take that!** The victim had just returned home from abroad the day before the murder. The time difference between here and Paris is nine hours, as we all know. When it is 4:00 PM here it is 1:00 AM the next day there. The clock was not three hours slow... it was actually nine hours fast! The victim did not reset the clock since returning home. That is why the time you heard when you struck her dead in her apartment was wrong!"

Pause.

"Proof enough for you, Mr. Sahwit? Or should I say... Mr. Did It!"  
"Suck it!" Eddy teased among the crowd's voices.

The judge banged his gavel once more to restore order.

"O-order! Order, I say!"  
"Okay! I'll have fried chicken with french fries!" Ed yelled out.  
"That joke was funny the first time ya said it, Ed!" Eddy yelled back.

* * *

"Well... this case turned out a lot differently than we all expected."  
"Tell me about it," Eddy muffled out under his breath.  
"Mr. Payne... your client?" the judge asked.  
"He... er... was arrested and has been taken away, Your Honor."  
"Very well. Mr. Wright?"  
"Yes, Your Honor."  
"I have to say, I'm impressed. I don't think I've ever seen someone complete a defense so quickly... and find the true culprit at the same time!"  
"Thank you, Your Honor."  
"At this point, this is only a formality, but this court finds the defendant, Mr. Rolf Yolkvolt, **not guilty**. And with that, the court is adjourned."

* * *

_As it turns out, Frank Sahwit was a common burglar. He posed as a newspaper salesman to check and see when people were out of the house. That day, when Rolf went to her apartment, the victim wasn't home. After he left, Mr. Sahwit let himself in to do his dirty work. While he was searching her place, the victim returned. Flustered, Mr. Sahwit grabbed the nearest blunt object he could find..._

* * *

**August 3, 2:32 PM**  
 **Peach Creek District Court**  
 **Defendant Lobby No. 2**

"I still can't believe ya won, Double D!" Eddy was the first to speak.  
"Way to go, Double D!" Ed spoke up as well.  
"Thank you, you two. It really means a lot to me," Edd said.  
"I'll be sure to tell Sarah everything!" added Ed.  
"I'm sure she's worried sick. I mean, the trial has dragged on a while." Eddy noted.  
"I do have to say though," Mia spoke up. "that it has been a while since I've seen any trial end on such a satisfying note!"  
 _(I've never seen the chief looking this happy before...)_ Edd thought to himself. ( _If she is this glad, Rolf must feel...)  
_ "Rolf's life is over..."  
 _(Terrible... sigh...)_  
"You're supposed to be happy, Rolf! What's wrong with ya?" Eddy yelled out.  
"Don't worry about Rolf, Ed-boy... Rolf will decease soon..."  
"Good! Wait, no! Bad! Bad bad bad! You're innocent, Rolf! The case is over!"

Pause.

"It's still her, isn't it?"

No response.

"Congratulations, Holf!" Mia suddenly spoke up.  
"H-Holf...?"  
"Yes, you! I can pratically see the headlines now: 'Holf Yolkvolt: Innocent!'"

Rolf suddenly spotted up.

"Thank you! Rolf really owes you one. Rolf will not forget this, ever! Rolf has some candy beeds Rolf can share with you! Rolf's treat!"  
"Oh, no, I couldn't."  
"Hey, Double D was the one who got ya off the hook here!" Eddy spoke up.  
"Oh, hey!" Rolf continued, ignoring Eddy's statement. "Here, Rolf would like for you to take this! It's a present!"

Eddy and Mia realized what Rolf had in his hands.

"Isn't that the evidence that..." started Eddy.  
"Actually, Rolf made the clock for her. One for her, one for Rolf, yes?"  
"Ya made the clock? Seriously?" replied Eddy. "Think ya can make me one of those?"

Pause.

"Well, thank you," Mia spoke up, taking the clock. "I'll keep it as a memento."  
"Head-in-sock Ed-boy. Rolf would like to take a word with you."  
"Yes, Rolf?"  
"Can you believe Rolf was into that girl? And she was just playing Rolf for a fool, the swindler! Doesn't that want to make you cry?"  
"Rolf..."  
"She wasn't your type anyway, Rolf! Forget about her! You're better off without her!"  
"Are you so sure?" Mia suddenly spoke up.  
"Excuse Rolf?"  
"I think she thought quite a lot of you... in her own way."  
"Don't sympathise with Rolf. It's alright."  
"I'm not just sympathising, really. Isn't that right, Wright?"  
"But of course," Edd agreed. "She had the clock you made for her all along. She took it with her when she traveled."  
"She probably just needed a clock, that's all," Rolf remarked.  
"You think so? It is a pretty heavy clock to take traveling."

No response from Rolf.

"Make of it what you will, Rolf."

Pause.

"Thank you for being Rolf's... how do you say? Attorney, yes. Rolf was wise to trust pancake-head Ed-boy."

And with that, Rolf left the building.

"Hope that cheered him up a bit..." Eddy spoke up.  
"Well, I believe our work here is done. Shall we be off?" Mia suggested.  
"Yeah, let's do it!" Ed agreed.  
"Say, how about dinner? On me?"  
"Yeah, let's do it!" Eddy agreed. "I'm so hungry I could eat a cow!"  
"Don't let Rolf hear ya, Eddy!"

* * *

_And so, my first trial came to a close. I didn't know it at the time, but the clock Rolf gave Mia would soon be the center of another incident..._


	3. A Sister In Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the summary probably already told you, starting with this chapter, spoilers for elements from the ending of [Port-Ed 2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/778749) are present. [You Have Been Warned](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouHaveBeenWarned).

_*brrring...*_  
 _*brrrrrring...*_  
 _*beep*_  
 _\- Hello? This is Maya._  
 _\- Hey Maya, it's me._  
 _\- Mia! What's up? You haven't called in a while._  
 _\- Sorry, I've been so busy. How you been?_  
 _\- Well, LONELY. And it's all YOUR fault. Nah, I'm just teasing. I've been great! I'm finally getting used to having my own place._  
 _\- That's good to hear. Actually, I'm calling because I have a favour to ask._  
 _\- I know, I know. You want me to hold evidence for you?_  
 _\- Sharp as always! There's a lot of buzz about the upcoming trial... I just don't feel safe keeping the evidence here._  
 _\- I gotcha. So, what is it this time?_  
 _\- It's... **a clock**._  
 _\- A clock?_  
 _\- Yeah, it's made to look like that statue, "The Thinker." And it tells you the time! I thought you might like it. You always liked toys._  
 _\- Hey! I'm not a little girl anymore, Sis!_  
 _\- Now, now. You know I'm only teasing. Ah, I should probably tell you, the clock isn't talking right now._  
 _\- Huh? It's not working? That's lame!_  
 _\- I had to take the clockwork out. Sorry. I put some papers inside it instead._  
 _\- Papers? Is that the evidence, then? Hmm, well... there's a possibility that it may turn out that way, yes._  
 _\- Can you come by the office tonight, say 9:00, to pick it up? I'll be in a pretrial meeting until then._  
 _\- Okay, Sis, but I expect dinner! Something good! Like... burgers! I could really go for a good burger._  
 _\- Okay, okay. We'll hit the usual joint._  
 _\- Alright! It's a deal! Okay, Sis, see you soon!_  
 _\- Yep. I'll be waiting, Maya._  
 _*beep*_  
 _[Conversation recorded. September 5, 9:27 AM.]_

* * *

**September 5, 8:57 PM  
Outside Fey  & Co. Law Offices**

Ed and Eddy were currently walking back towards their respective houses. After Edd told Eddy to actually look for a job of his own, instead of being in his house all day playing Team Fortress 2, Eddy has been looking through the classified section of the newspapers. So far, he hasn't had much luck. He was rejected from every job he's been interviewed to, mostly due to his attitude. So he's been a bit depressed.

Eddy gave out a sigh.

"Oh man... Sockhead's right. I really need to get a job... but I haven't had much luck... what am I gonna do, Ed?" he asked Ed.  
"Don't worry, Eddy... some day you'll have a chance."  
"But with what? Everywhere I've been to I've been denied, and everybody I've seen says I don't have the 'qualifications' and the 'experience', whatever that means."

Pause.

"Sure wish I could work with Double D though... I know a lot about trials and stuff, I watched a lotta that on TV. But I'm sure he's not gonna let me work with him."  
"If ya just ask, Eddy..."  
"He's gonna say no, I know it. Still gonna get that whole 'no qualifications' and 'no experience' crap."

Ed and Eddy suddenly heard someone's voice.

" _Now, Miss Fey, I'll take what's mine... the papers._ "  
"What was that?" asked Eddy.  
"It came from in here, Eddy," replied Ed, looking through the window. Eddy joined Ed and looked through the window. They saw Edd's mentor talking to another, misterious individual.  
" _I'm sorry, but I can't give you what I don't have._ "  
"Isn't that Double D's boss?" Eddy asked Ed. Ed simply pointed his finger towards his mouth, giving out a "shush" sound. It was clear he was interested in the scene.  
" _Miss Fey, you are a poor liar. Why, I see it right over there... that must be 'The Thinker' who swallowed those papers._ "  
"Who _is_ that guy?" asked Eddy.  
"Probably the villain," was Ed's response.  
" _How could you know...?_ "  
" _Ho hoh. You are not cogniferous of my background?_ "  
"Say what now?" asked Eddy.  
" _Gathering information is my business, you see._ "  
" _I... I should have been more careful._ "  
" _Ho hoh. My dear Miss Fey... I am so very sorry. But I am afraid I must ask you for one more thing."_  
"I don't like where this is going..." Eddy noted.  
" _Your eternal silence... Farewell, Miss Fey._ "  
"Let's get outta here, Ed!" Eddy requested. "I don't wanna be in Rolf's shoes!"  
"Rolf's shoes are too big for ya, Eddy," was Ed's response.  
"Whatever. Let's go home!"

And with that, Ed and Eddy left the scene, just before the mysterious man took the clock and struck it up hard towards Mia.

* * *

**September 5, 9:08 PM  
Fey  & Co. Law Offices**

"Oh dear. I'm late." Edd just arrived in the building. Eddy kept nagging him about what happened a few minutes before, but Edd did not listen anyway. "I am hardly tardy... Eddy delayed me for a while. He and his crazy stories about weird men and murders..."

Edd looked around the room.

"That's strange... the chief must have gone home already. She said her sister was coming over so we should all go out for dinner..."  
"She's dead, Double D."

Edd turned around towards the door. Sure enough, Eddy was right beside him.

"How did you get here so fast, Eddy?" asked Edd.  
"Portal gun," was Eddy's response. Sure enough, there was an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device on his hands and a blue portal behind him.  
"Eddy, these things are not toys! You shouldn't play with them!"  
"Come on, sockhead. I'm not gonna just let this gain dust."  
"But they're worth thousands of dollars, Eddy! Breaking them is out of the question!"  
"Gimme a break, sockhead. Geez. Anyway, like I'm telling ya, she's dead. Just smell the room."

Edd gave out a good smell of the room.

"Oh dear goodness, I smell..."  
" **Blood**?"  
"Yes, Eddy! Blood! Where's it coming from? So unsanitary..."

And with that, Edd ran towards the office, where he thought his chief would be. Eddy followed close behind, placing a blue portal on the ground and an orange portal past the half-open door.

* * *

"That smell... it is blood, for sure," started Edd.  
"Told ya," Eddy replied. He then kissed his portal gun. "Portals, can't live without them."  
"Please, Eddy, you got that by accident."  
"Shut up, sockhead!"

Edd and Eddy then heard someone sobbing.

"What was that?" asked Edd.  
"Don't look at me, it wasn't me," replied Eddy.  
"Sis..." This voice was surely female.  
"It seems we're not alone, Eddy..." Edd noted.  
"Oh shit, maybe he's still here!"  
"Eddy, I told you to watch your language! And who are you talking about?"  
"The killer, Double D! He's the one who killed your boss! Look over there and you'll see!"

Edd turned towards the other side of the room, and he saw...

Mia. Not moving... dead!

Edd suddenly dropped out cold from scare just as the girl next to Mia did the same thing.

"I better get a bucket..." Eddy remarked.

* * *

Edd woke up from a bucket of water poured towards his face. He got up and look at his chief. She was laying under the window.

Edd felt her shoulder. Her body was still warm... then, all too quickly, it began to fade... until finally she was cold.

"Chief..."  
"Come on, cry away like that other girl..." Eddy teased.  
"Where is she anyway?"  
"She's by the sofa, I put her there. Didn't wanna wake her up the same way I woke ya up, ya know..."  
"What should we do now...?" asked Edd.  
"If I may suggest something, buddies..."

Edd and Eddy suddenly found Ed in the room.

"Ah!" Eddy gave out a short scream. "Where did you come from?"  
"Blame my portal gun, Eddy!"

Eddy turned around and found a red portal in the wall.

"See, sockhead? I told ya these were handy! Now, what were you sayin', Ed?"  
"Let's look around the place! We might find some butter toast!"  
"You mean evidence, Ed..." Edd remarked.  
"Is that food?"  
"Sigh... let's just look around the room, then. If there are any clues around here..."

The three Eds split up and looked around the room. It wasn't too big, so they did not waste much time.

Edd found some shards of glass scattered across the floor. Edd remarked that they were probably part of a light stand.

_Glass Shards added to the Court Record._

Ed found Rolf's clock, filled with dried blood. Edd looked at it and said: "How ironic that this became the murder weapon... again."

_The Thinker added to the Court Record._

Eddy found the office telephone. He picked it up and tried to call the police. He then noticed the receiver was missing a few screws, like someone was halfway through taking it apart.

"Police! Please, come quick!"  
"Jesus, Eddy, you don't need to be so rude."  
"Wasn't me, Double D."  
"It came from outside, guys..." Ed remarked.

The three Eds looked outside the window. There, they found a young woman screaming at her telephone, staring right at the three Eds.

"Oh great, now what are we gonna do?" asked Eddy.

Edd thought for a moment then exited the room. Eddy followed him, pressing the button on his portal gun to remove all portals.

Once they were outside the office, Eddy looked around.

"Hey, where is she?"  
"What are you taking about, Eddy?"  
"That girl... the one that passed out with ya... where'd she go? I put her right there on the sofa..."

Suddenly and with no warning, she showed up again.

"Yipes! Where'd you come from?"

No response.

"You better not have a portal gun with ya!"  
"Highly unlikely, Eddy... now then," Edd turned towards the girl. "Escuse me but, who are you?"

No response again.

"It's alright. I work here."  
"And I'm with him."  
"Maya..."  
"Come again?"  
"Maya Fey."  
"Wait a sec... isn't your boss named Fey, Double D?"  
"It is! So you and the chief are..."  
"Sisters, yes. I'm her younger sister." was Maya's response.  
"And why were you here this late at night?"  
"She said she wanted me to keep some evidence for her."  
"Hold the phone! Evidence? Like what?" asked Eddy.  
"T-that clock..."  
"I really need to get one of those... I need to talk to Rolf about that..."

Edd did not want to disturb Maya, because she seemed to be in shock, but he had to know... he already knew anyway thanks to Eddy, but it was best if she told the story as well.

"Can you tell me what happened here?" asked Edd.  
"I told ya already, Double D!"

Edd ignored Eddy and turned towards Maya. She wasn't giving a response.

"I came in..." she started. "The room was dark... and Sis... Sis...!"  
 _So she was already dead..._ Edd thought to himself.  
"Hey guys, look what I found!" Ed suddenly came rushing in the room. He was holding a piece of paper.  
"What is it?"

Edd took the paper from Ed's hands and examined it. Eddy looked at the paper as well. In it, the word "Maya" was written in pure blood.

"This seems to be a receipt from a department store..." Noted Edd as he looked at the other side. "It's dated yesterday..."  
"I'm more concerned about what's written in blood, Double D..."

_Receipt added to the Court Record._

Maya looked surprised lwhen she looked at the receipt.

" -that's MY name!"  
"Just as I thought..." Eddy remarked.  
"W-why? Why would she write my name?"  
"Please, just calm down..." Edd requested.  
"W-why would Sis write my name?" asked Maya, nearly crying.  
"Oh great... now ya've done it, Double D..." Eddy teased.

Suddenly sirens could be heard in the area.

"Oh shit, it's the coppers!"  
"Freeze! Police!"

* * *

The detective marched in towards the room, a familiar face to the Eds.

"Alright, nobody move! Wait..." he then noticed the Eds. "Eddy? Double D? What are you guys doing here?"  
"Hey, it's Kevin!" Eddy spoke up. "What are ya doin here?"  
"We received a report from the building across the way. Got a person sayin' they saw a murder."  
 _It must have been the woman we saw..._ Edd thought to himself. "You work at the police department, Kevin?" he then asked Kevin.  
"Well yeah, I got the job recently..."  
"I really need to get one of those..." Eddy remarked, sighing.  
"Aaaanyway," Kevin continued, "don't want anyone movin' an inch, kay? I know we're friends and all, but it's protocol." And with that, Kevin moved towards the next room.

Edd looked at Maya.

_Maya... Wait, she wouldn't have... no, it's not possible,_ he thought to himself.

"Whoaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Kevin suddenly yelled out as he came back into the previous room.  
"What's it to ya, Kev?" asked Eddy.  
"Hey, ya guys," Kevin started, as he was holding a piece of paper, "this word 'Maya' here mean anythin' to ya?"

The Eds were silent. The one who gave the answer was Maya.

"Um... that... that's my name..."  
"WHAAAAT? Ya see, the victim drew this here note in her own blood, see? With her dying breath, she wrote down the killer's name!"  
"But she's not..."  
"Case closed! You're comin' down to the precinct, ma'am."  
"Listen to me Kev!"

* * *

_Mia's younger sister, Maya, was arrested on the spot. We were taken in for questioning and didn't get out until the next morning. Ed and Eddy did a good job hiding their portal guns, because nobody saw them. My eyes were heavy... but I could not sleep. I sat around, waiting for visiting hours to begin at the Peach Creek Detention Center. I dragged Ed and Eddy with me, Eddy being not too pleased with the idea. I just had to talk to Maya as soon as possible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eddy having a button on his portal gun that disables both portals is a reference to [Portal: The Flash Version](http://portal.wecreatestuff.com/), which had one of those as well.


	4. Spirit Mediums and Portal Guns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The worst part of this chapter was coming up with a chapter name, lol.

**September 6, 9:07 AM**   
**Peach Creek Detention Center**   
**Visitor's Room**

Eddy was yawning. He hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

"Tell me again why we're here this early in the morning, Double D," Eddy asked Edd. "Ya didn't even let us put away our portal guns!" Indeed, Ed and Eddy still had their portal guns on their laps. Edd wondered how the guards didn't see them, but he decided to shug it off.  
"Please Eddy, they have poor Maya locked up in here like a criminal," Edd tried to explain. "We really need to talk to her. I, for one, believe she is innocent."  
"Well, yeah, me too..." Eddy added, "but only because I saw the killer!"  
"Was it Maya?"  
"Heck no! For one, it was a dude, Double D! Ed can agree with me, he was there with me! Right, Ed?"  
"Yup, Eddy. Saw the whole thing."  
"See? Now let's just get this over with."

After a short while, Maya was allowed on the other side of the glass, and was staring at the three Eds with a sad look on her face. She was the one who spoke up first.

"Oh... it's you three..."  
"That brings back memories... bad memories..." Eddy spoke up.   
"G-good morning," Edd spoke up as well. _She looks so tired..._ he thought to himself.  
"Good morning!" Ed spoke up in his usual happy-go-lucky self.  
"Are you going to be my attorney?" Maya asked Edd.  
"Well, actually, that is what I wanted to talk to you about..." Edd responded. He decded to give it to her straight. "It is all up to you."  
"Up... to me?"  
"Yes. I don't think this is something I should decide. After all, you are the one in trouble."

No response.

"They're never going to believe me... are they?" Maya spoke up. "Even you guys, when you found me in the office... you looked at me like I did it!"  
 _Did I look at her like that?_ Edd thought to himself.  
"Hey, I believe in ya!" Eddy spoke up. "And Ed does too, right Ed?"  
"Yup, Eddy!"  
"It's okay... I understand..." Maya spoke up. Suddenly, her expression turned into a happy one. "And... I've also heard about you."  
"Really? Heard what about me?" asked Edd.  
"Do we have a say in this?" asked Eddy.  
"I... was talking to my sister on the phone the other day..." Maya spoke up.

* * *

_"Today was my junior partner's first day in court."_   
_"Wow, really? How did it go?"_   
_"It was quite the scene! Honestly, I was on edge the whole time. It's been a while..."_   
_"Hah! So, he crashed and burned?"_   
_"... He's a genius. One of those 'strike fear into the hearts of evil' types... The only thing he's lacking is... experience."_   
_"Sounds like it was fun! Well, I know who to go to if I ever get into trouble now!"_   
_"I don't know, Maya. I think you might want to wait... give him three more years. That is, unless you want to be found guilty."_

* * *

"And that is all she said!" Maya concluded.

Edd gave no response.

"I-I'm sorry!" Maya spoke up, seeing Edd's face. "I didn't mean to trouble you..."  
"No, no, it's all right. It is kind of true, I guess," Edd spoke up. "But at the same time, I can not just sit and watch!"  
"Yeah, me neither!" Eddy agreed.  
"When I think of the person who did this to Mia..."  
"Whoa! Calm down, Double D!"  
"Sorry, Eddy, just had a little emotional spark there." Trying to change the subject, Edd spoke up. "There is something I've been meaning to ask you for a while."  
"Yes?"  
"What is with the clothes you are wearing?"  
"Yeah, I really wanna know that too," Eddy spoke up.  
"It's what all acolytes wear. It's my uniform, you could say," Maya responded.  
"What's an acolyte?" asked Ed.  
"What the hell do ya do anyway?" asked Eddy.  
"Oh! It's nothing strange, really!" Maya spoke up. "I'm a spirit medium. ...In training."  
 _Are ya sure that's not strange...?_ Eddy thought to himself.  
"The Fey family, especially the women, have always been very sensitive to the spirit world," Maya explained.  
"Wait a minute, the 'Fey family'?" Edd spoke up. "So Mia was into this stuff as well?"  
"Of course! She left the montain to 'follow her career', she said. And her powers were first-class too!"  
"Wait a minute... I just thought of somethin'!" Eddy suddenly had a brainstorm. "Maya, you're a real, honest-to-goodness spirit medium, right? With ESP and all that?"  
"Well, yes."  
"Well, can't ya just contact her spirit then? We can just ask her who killed her! I'm a genius!"

Pause.

"What? Was it somethin' I said?"  
"I-I'm sorry..." Maya had that sad look in her face again. "I'm still in training, so I can't do something on that level..."  
 _Of course... that would be too easy..._ Edd thought to himself. Changing the subject, he spoke up. "Could you tell me about the night of the murder?"  
"Yes! Let's see... that morning, I got a call from my sister. She wanted me to hold onto a piece of evidence for an upcoming trial."  
"It was that clock... wasn't it?" asked Eddy.  
"Yes!" Maya replied.  
"I really need to get Rolf to make me one of those..." Eddy ranted. "But just _how_ is that evidence?"  
"She said something about that..." Pause. "Oh wait, now I remember! Do you guys want to hear it in her own voice?"  
"Say what now?" Eddy spoke up.  
"I'm pretty sure our conversation's on my cell phone."  
"Yay, ya recorded it!" Eddy shouted, raising his arms in the air.  
"I forgot how to delete those things anyway..."  
"Let's hear it!" Ed requested.  
"Yeah, let's hear it!" Eddy agreed.  
"Right!"

Pause.

"Is there a problem?" Eddy spoke up.  
"I just remembered... that detective took my cell phone..." Maya explained.  
"Stupid Kevin..." Eddy teased. "Next time I see him, I'll demand he give us the phone!"  
"I'll write you a note so you don't forget, okay?"  
"Yeah, sure, thanks!"

_Maya's Memo added to the Court Record._

Maya had that sad look in her face again. It was like she had something to add.

"Something the matter, Maya?" Edd spoke up.  
"I was wondering... could I ask you a favor?"  
"What favor?" asked Eddy.

Maya landed the Eds a sheet of paper.

"This is the address of a famous lawyer," she explained. "My sister gave me this a long time ago. She said if I was ever in trouble, I should call him. And, well, I'm in trouble. Do you think you could ask him to represent me?"  
"Yeah, sure, why not?" Eddy replied. "We'll go ask."  
"Thank you so much!" Maya had a happy face on her again. That quickly faded away. "I have no one else to turn to..."  
"What about your parents?" asked Ed.

Maya gave no response.

"What? What'd I do?"

Edd knew exactly what the problem was.

"I... I see. Do not worry, just leave it to me," he spoke up.  
"Thank you... The trial's tomorrow... at 10:00," Maya informed.  
"What?!" Eddy yelled out. "Ya mean 'tomorrow' tomorrow?"  
"Yes. 'Tomorrow' tomorrow."  
"What if the guy refuses?"  
"They said if I don't find one, the state will pick an attorney to defend me."  
"When's that gonna happen?" asked Eddy.  
"They're giving me until 4:00 this afternoon."  
 _And visiting hours are almost up... We'd better hurry!_ Edd thought to himself.  
"Let's go, Double D!" Eddy was anxious to get started.  
"Before we go, I would like to ask you to tell me a bit more about the day of the murder," Edd requested. "If it is all right with you, Maya? I mean, it must be hard..."  
"Oh, seriously?" Eddy was getting a bit impatient.  
"No, no, it's okay," Maya spoke up. "All I've been doing the past few hours was talking about it, anyway. I kinda gotten used to it. Let's see... like I told you, that morning I got a call from my sister."  
"Right, she wanted you to hold onto that clock," Edd agreed.  
"That thing probably qualifies as a serial murderer by now!" Eddy spoke up.

Maya giggled a bit at Eddy's statement.

"When did you arrive at the office?" asked Edd.  
"It was right about 9:00," Maya responded. "The lights were off and... I could smell blood."

Pause.

"Th-then I found her. My sister..."  
"Thank you, Maya," Edd concluded. "That is all I needed to hear for now."  
"Can we go now?" Eddy requested.  
"Wait, before you go..." Maya interrupted.  
"What is it now?" Eddy replied in an angry tone.  
"I've been meaning to ask you guys something for a while now..." she explained. "What is that you have in your lap?"  
"Oh, this?" Eddy raised his portal gun in one hand. "This baby is just the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, or ASHPD for short. But I like to call it a portal gun." Eddy lowered his portal gun.  
"Where'd you get that?" asked Maya.  
"We got it as a memento of one of our last adventures, ya see," Eddy explained. "Double D here got trapped in his huge facility called Aperture Science. Me and Ed went there to try and get him out. That only caused a shitload of problems. Luckily, the computer there got sick of tryin' to kill us so she just let us go. After she got put in a potato battery."

Maya giggled a bit at the thought.

"I know, right? I wouldn't have believe it myself!"  
"So how does it work?" asked Maya.  
"Simple: you just press a button here and this thing shoots out a blue portal. Ya press another button right here and the thing shoots out an orange portal. Ya go through one of the portals and ya come out of the other one. It makes it easy to go long distances."  
"Are both of those guns the same?"  
"Well, the only difference is in the color of the portals," Eddy explained. "But otherwise, they work exactly the same."  
"Can we go now, please, Eddy?" Edd interrupted.  
"Oh right, we got stuff to do!"

The Eds then got up and left the building.


	5. Investigation Start!

**September 6  
Grossberg Law Offices**

The area the Eds were in was very fancy. A book case was on the wall behind the desk, completely filled with books and other objects. There was a plant next to the carpet as well, near the sofa. On the wall where the sofa was, there was also a painting of a mountain man and a sunset.

"Wow... this is some very fancy stuff," Eddy spoke up. He then started to call upon somebody, anybody who owned the place. "Hello? Anybody home?"  
"Eddy, remember what the receptionist said?" asked Edd.  
"Yeah, yeah, the big boss is out. I get it already. But she didn't said when he'd be back, did she?"  
"I don't think she said anything like that, Eddy. It must be kind of hard to keep track of everything when you're a famous lawyer."  
"Not to mention run a place like _this_! It must have cost, like, a gazillion dollars!"  
"Don't exaggerate, Eddy..."  
"What should we do, guys?" asked Ed.

Edd pondered about the situation for a while.

"Let's head back to the office," Edd requested.  
"Ya mean... the crime scene?" asked Eddy.  
"Yes. I have a feeling something's going to happen there."  
"Whatever. Let's go."

And with that, the Eds left the building.

* * *

**September 6  
Fey & Co. Law Offices**

"Why are we here again?" was the first thing Eddy said when he arrived inside."This place is filled up to the top with police officers!"  
"Searching for clues..." Ed spoke up.  
"What's with you, Ed?" Eddy spoke up.  
"Oh nothing, just, ya know."  
"No, I don't know!"  
"Hey! You guys!" suddenly came out. Eddy imediately recognized the voice.  
"Hey, it's Kevin!"  
"This is a crime scene, ya know!" Kevin spoke up. "No trespassing!"  
"I'm still wonderin' why we're here again..."

Pause.

"You're her lawyer, right, Double D?" asked Kevin. "If you got business here, do it quick!"  
"But he's not..." Eddy started to say, but Edd covered up Eddy's mouth.  
"About Ms. Fey... did you do an autopsy?" Edd asked Kevin.  
"Wanna know the results, Double D?" Kevin asked back.

Pause.

"Don't look at me like that, dudes! It's no use!"  
"What do ya mean, Kev?" asked Eddy.  
"She might have been Double D's boss and all, but that doesn't mean you guys get special treatments 'cuz of that."  
"Please?" asked Ed.  
"Oh, alright, fine, fine! You guys can see the report, but that's all!"

_Mia's Autopsy Report added to the Court Record._

"Now that that's out of the way, about Maya, Kev..." Eddy spoke up.  
"I'm lookin' forward to the trial too! Ya aren't gonna win this time, Double D!"  
"Come again?" asked Edd.  
"The city's put Prosecutor Edgeworth on the prosecution, if ya catch my drift. I'm sure ya know what this means, you being a lawyer and all."

Pause.

"You do know the guy, don't you, Double D?" asked Kevin.  
"Yes, of course I know him. He's a feared prosecutor. He doesn't feel pain, he doesn't feel remorse. He won't stop util he gets the guilty verdict he so desperately desires."  
"Don't talk about him like that, Double D! Ya barely make him sound human!"  
"How do ya know this guy, Double D?" asked Eddy.  
"It's a long story, Eddy..."  
"Still," Kevin continued, "I think this pretty much tells us what's gonna happen, don't ya think so?"  
"Oh, right, now I remember!" Ed suddenly spoke up. "Do ya have Maya's phone, Kevin?"  
"Sure, it's right here," Kevin replied, holding a cell phone in his hand.  
"Can ya give it back?"  
"But of course!" Kevin suddenly realized where Ed was going at. "Wait a second, Ed! Ya're tricky, aren't ya?"  
 _Oh shit, he's on to us!_ Eddy thought to himself. He gave a minute of thought. He then spoke up. "Ya see, Kevin, the strap that's on the phone..."  
"Ya mean this? It just looks like a regular strap to me..."  
"But it's a collector's item, Kev! She was worried it would get lost when we went down to the precinct, catch my drift?"  
"That what she said?"  
"Um... yeah, I guess ya could say that."

Pause.

"Okay then, Eddy. I wrote down all the numbers she called anyway."

_Maya's Cell Phone added to the Court Record._

"Ha ha, sucker!" Eddy said to himself. Luckily for him, Kevin didn't hear him. He then spoke up. "Come on guys, let's get outta here."  
"Wait up a sec," Kevin interrupted. "I'm not supposing ya're gonna talk to that witness, are ya?"

Pause.

"Ya better not then!" Kevin continued. "No influencing the witness with your lawyerly ways, pal!"  
"What the fuck's he talkin' about, Double D?" Eddy whispered onto Edd's ear.  
"I think I know what he's talking about, Eddy..." Edd whispered back. He the spoke up to Kevin. "You mean..."  
"Yeah, Miss April May."  
"Thats a creative name..." Eddy remarked.  
"Sorry, Double D, but I can't tell ya anythin' bout her!"  
"You just told us her name, Kevin..." Ed spoke up.  
"Did you send her home already?" asked Edd.  
"Heck no! She's not to go outside her room 'till the trial!"  
 _So she is still in the hotel across the way..._ Edd thought to himself. "I guess we should know better than to try to get a detective to leak information," he teased.  
"Ya got that right, Double D!"

* * *

**September 6  
Outside Fey & Co. Law Offices**

"I say I talk to the girl!" Eddy suggested. "I got my wits with the ladies, know what I'm sayin'?"  
"I was actually gonna suggest that you do it, Eddy," Edd explained. "I think it would be best if Miss May didn't see me."  
"But she saw all of us there yesterday!" Ed exclaimed.  
"How'd ya get so smart recently?" Eddy asked Ed.  
"I eat cereal, Eddy!"  
"And ya get dumb again..."  
"Ed has a point, Eddy..." Edd agreed. "We were all there when she called the police."  
"Well it could happen that she didn't see me, at best," Eddy spoke up. "Besides, I got my trump card!"  
"The portal gun, right Eddy?" Edd teased. "You know, you really shouldn't play with that."  
"I'm not gonna get my gun to gain dust! Ya hardly use your own!"  
"Because I'm saving it for emergencies!"  
"Well, isn't a murder an e-mer-gency?"  
"No, it is not!"  
"Well, when Maya gets convicted, don't say I told ya so! I'm using my gun, and that's that!"  
"Do what you want, Eddy, but when that gun gets stolen, don't come crying to me!"  
"Fine, I will do what I want!"

Eddy then ran away back to his house to get his portal gun back.

"What are we gonna do, Double D?" Ed asked Edd.  
"We are going to get a defense attorney for Maya," Edd explained. "Come along now, Ed."

Ed and Edd then walked away, towards the Grossberg Law Offices.


	6. April May

**September 6**   
**Gatewater Hotel**   
**Room 303**

Eddy entered the room without knocking. If Edd was there, he would scoll him down. He was greeted by April May.

"Hello there, handsome," she started.  
"Well you sure have a good eye, beautiful," Eddy replied.  
"You're the lawyer, aren't you?" April asked. "That detective told me... he said 'Don't say nothing to that lawyer, pal!' Tee hee!"  
"What're you talking about? I ain't a lawyer, babe. I ain't got a job, even. _Note to self: thank Kevin for making my job harder._ "  
"Gee! This is like something out of a movie or something! It's all so exciting I can hardly hold myself!" Pause. "Let me go freshen up so I can look the part of the beautiful eyewitness!"

And with that, April moved towards the bathroom, leaving Eddy alone.

_I'm really sorry for the guy that has to deal with this girl._ Eddy thought to himself. _Anyway, I'm sure it wouldn't mind if I looked around this place for a bit._

Eddy pulled up his portal gun.He fired a blue portal outside through the window for a quick escape. He then checked the drawer, as there was a screwdriver sticking out of it.

_What IS this thing and what the fuck is it doing here? What the fuck is inside this drawer?_

Eddy opened the drawer. But he was interrupted.

"Hey! H-h-hey!"  
"What the fuck?!"

Eddy turned around to see April near him with an angry face on her.

"What're you doing?! _No touching!_ Oooh... bad boy!"  
"What re ya talkin' about?" Eddy yelled.  
"You really shouldn't pry around in other people's rooms now. You wouldn't want to make me upset, _would you?_ "  
 _Upset? UPSET?! You were gonna EXPLODE for a second there!_ Eddy thought to himself. _What IS in that drawer?_

Keeping his composure up, Eddy started to talk.

"Can ya tell me something here? Tell me what ya watched when that incident happened."  
"Ooh... you sound like a lawyer in the movies!" April replied. "I like a man with a big vocabulary."  
"Actually, Double D's the one with the big vocabulary, not me," Eddy responded.  
"He's the lawyer, isn't he?" asked April.  
"What? No! I don't know any lawyer! Anyway, about that thing that happened the other day. What did ya see?"  
"Dream on baby! If you _really_ want to know, you and your little lawyer friend'll just have to come to court tomorrow."  
 _Double D is so going to pay for putting me up with this,_ Eddy thought to himself. He then continued. "Tell me one thing. Who exactly are you?"  
"Are you hitting on me?" April asked.  
"Well, I am known for making an impression on women," Eddy replied. "I learned all about it from my brother." Pause. "Anyway, what do ya do?"

Pause.

"Nope! And you had your little hopes up, didn't you!" April replied.

Eddy sighed. He then pointed towards the table.

"I see there are two glasses on the table over there," he started. "Are ya with someone?"  
"Oooh! What amazing powers of observation! You must be one of those famous detectives, like on TV!"  
"Oh, no, not me! I don't even have a job!" Eddy remarked.  
"Say, Mr. Big Detective, why don't you go look for clues... in the garbage?"  
"Are you kicking me out?"  
"Pretty much, yeah."

Eddy did not say a single word afterwards. He fired a portal on the ground and left the room.


	7. Maya's Backstory

**September 6  
Grossberg Law Offices**

While Eddy was busy with April May, Ed and Edd decided to check and see if Grossberg had returned to his office yet.

"*Ah-HHHHHEM!*"

And sure enough, he did.

"So, you're the one they say has been looking for me?" he started.  
"That would be me, yes," Edd responded.

Grossberg suddenly noticed Edd's badge.

"So you're a lawyer, are you not?" he asked.  
"He sure is!" Ed responded for Edd. Ed then whispered to Edd, "I gotta fill in for Eddy, ya know, Double D?"  
"And what do you two want?" Grossberg asked. "I'm not particularly busy these days... Please, proceed!"  
"Oh yeah, it's about Maya," Ed suddenly remembered. "You know her, right?"

Upon Ed mentioning Maya's name, Grossberg suddenly looked... shocked, to say the least.

"I am really quite busy here, son," he continued, suddenly back to normal. "I can't go taking cases on a day's notice! No, it's quite impossible."  
"How did you know the trial was tomorrow?" Edd asked. Grossberg looked shocked again.  
"A-anyway..." he continued, back to normal again, "I'm afraid it's entirely impossible for me to represent her. Sorry. End of discussion."  
" _Double D,_ " Ed whispered at Edd, " _can you tell me what's going on? We didn't even ask him, and he already said no!_ "  
" _I'm afraid I don't know either, Ed,_ " Edd whispered back.  
" _What are we gonna tell Maya...?_ " Ed whispered back. He got no response from Edd.

Edd suddenly spoke up.

"How can you just refuse like that? If you please, just tell me why you won't take the case!"

Grossberg once again looked shocked. The response he gave was not the one Edd was expecting: he simply stated that he was busy, like he was hiding the truth.

"But the client is Mia Fey's sister!" Edd continued.

Pause. Grossberg looked shocked yet again.

"She trusted you... she knew her sister would be in good hands with you."  
"Yes, yes, of course I know that," Grossberg explained. "However! I'm sorry but I must refuse. Sorry. Good-bye."  
"Creep," Ed yelled under his breath. He got a hard look from Edd. "What? Someone's gotta fill in for Eddy, ya know!"  
"Very well," Edd spoke up. "We don't have time for pointless arguments. We'll go look elsewhere."  
"Think not," Grossberg grumbled under his breath.  
"Come again?"  
"I think not, I said."  
"What do ya mean by that?" asked Ed.  
"I'm terribly, terribly sorry," Grossberg spoke up, "but I'm afraid no lawyer worth their salt will take on this particular case."  
"What?!" Ed yelled out. "Why?!"  
"I... cannot say."

Pause.

"I beg your pardon, but could you leave? Now?" Grossberg requested. "I have nothing more to discuss with you."  
"What's going on here?" Ed said under his breath as the two left the building. When they did, they saw a blue portal form on the ground; Eddy coming out of it.

"Still like flashy entrances, I'm assuming," Edd told him.  
"I suppose so," Eddy responded, closing the portals. "So, didya talk to the guy?"  
"Yes, we did," Edd told Eddy. "And apparently we're back at square one. Mr. Grossberg won't take the case, and he told me, and I quote, that no lawyer worth their salt will take on this particular case."  
"What?! Why?"  
"He didn't tell me, Eddy," Edd responded. He then sighed. "We have to tell Maya the bad news, sooner or later... somehow."  
"I say sooner," Eddy suggested. "That hotel was a total bust, anyway. The so-called 'witness' looked like she was gonna throw up in a fit of anger on me! And all because I checked in the drawer..."  
"You know full well you are not supposed to ckeck in other people's personal belongings, Eddy."  
"But it could be evidence, you know..."

Edd sighed.

"I suppose we could go back at the hotel at a later time, if you say there is evidence there... but for now, someone needs to hear some news."

* * *

**September 6, 3:42 PM**   
**Peach Creek Detention Center**   
**Visitor's Room**

As is to be expected, Maya was already there. Eddy insisted that the Eds came in the room via portal.

"I really don't want you to use that in public, Eddy..." Edd spoke up, as the Eds came in the building. "What if somebody steals it...?"  
"I keep this thing locked up tight, Double D! No need to worry at all!"  
"Oh! You came back!" Maya suddenly spoke up. "Did you guys find the lawyer?"  
" _What are we going to tell her, Eddy?_ " Edd whispered at Eddy's ear.  
" _The truth,_ " was Eddy's response.  
"I really don't think you should use that guy," Edd spoke up to Maya. Eddy facepalmed. "He didn't seem that healthy. He was all skin and bones!"  
" _This isn't like you to lie, Double D!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd's ear.

If she heard Eddy or not, Maya seemed to know exactly what Edd was trying to say.

"What really happened?" she asked.

Pause. Nobody knew what to say.

"You don't mean... he refused to help?"  
"Yes! That is exactly what happened!" Eddy suddenly spoke up. Edd looked at him. "What? _Someone_ had to say it!"  
"I've been abandoned, then..." Maya spoke up, her voice showing sadness, which the Eds immediately noticed.  
"What about your family?" Ed asked.  
"I only had my sister," Maya responded. "My father died when I was very young. And I don't know where my mother is."  
Eddy whispered to Edd, " _If Maya doesn't know where her mom is, she could be Still Alive, dontcha think, Double D?_ "  
" _I was thanking exactly the same thing,_ " Edd whispered back.  
"The women in my family have been mediums for generations," Maya continued. "They say E.S.P. runs in our blood. About 15 years ago, our family was involved in an... incident. There was a men, and he... he..." Whatever this incident was, Maya did not seem to fond of explaining it to the Eds. "He ruined our mother's life."  
"Ruined? Whaddaya mean 'ruined'?" Eddy asked under his breath.  
"After that, she disappeared," Maya continued. "Several years after that, my sister announced she would 'become a lawyer' and left the mountain."

Edd did not speak up, as he was letting Maya's information fill in.

"So, ya live by yourself?" asked Eddy.  
"Yes. I've gotten used to it. Also, I had to become independent, or I would lose my E.S.P.!" Eddy could not help to give a small giggle at Maya's statement.  
Eddy whispered at Edd's ear: " _I kinda feel bad for her, Double D, ya know... all by herself up on that mountain... what should we do?_ " Edd did not respond. He asked Maya, "Who was this man, who, well, 'ruined' your mother?"  
"About 15 years ago... there was an unusual murder case. It made quite a stir, everyone was talking about it, apparently."  
"Oh yeah, I read about that on the paper!" Eddy brought up.  
"Since when do you read the newspaper, Eddy?" Edd asked Eddy.  
"Ever since we came back from Mondo-a-Go-Go, remember?"  
"The police were running out of leads," Maya continued, "and they were getting desperate..."  
Eddy suddenly spoke up. "Hold the phone!"

[ ](http://fav.me/d57jwvo)

"They didn't use a spirit medium... did they?"  
"The police contacted my mother to try to contact the victim," Maya responded.  
"What happened next? _What happened next?_ " Ed suddenly spoke up. "I love a good story!"  
"The case was solved... we thought."  
"Ya 'thought'...?" Eddy spoke up.  
"The man my mother helped the police capture was innocent."  
"Oh shit!"  
"Watch your language, Eddy!"  
"The police's consultation with a medium had been carried out in secret, of course," Maya continued her story. "But... a man found out about it and leaked it to the press. He told all the papers my mother was a fraud, and the media jumped on it big time. My mother... became the laughing stock of the nation."  
"I knew I shouldn't trust half a piece of shit those papers say! They say that 90% of what's in the paper is lies!"

Pause.

"White..." Maya quietly spoke up.  
"Come again?" asked Edd.  
"That was his name. My sister told me."

Pause.

"Just a little longer now before the state-appointed lawyer comes, I guess..."  
Edd looked at his watch. " _(4:00 PM... time's up. What should we do? Do we just leave her and go home...?)_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, cliffhangers! Don't you just love those? I know I do!
> 
> No, seriously, you have to do a choice at that point. [But Thou Must](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButThouMust), though, so you already know what the answer is.
> 
> Also, I really enjoy the fact that you can add images to fics. Fanfiction.net doesn't even allow links! Which is why the shout out that I added works a lot better here.


	8. Double D's Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Alliterative Titles](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlliterativeTitle), ahoy!

" _(What should we do? Do we just leave her and go home?)_ "

Edd was faced with a dilemma. His mentor's sister had been abandoned by absolutely everybody but him. The time for her to select a lawyer had almost expired. If he didn't say anything now, Maya would be appointed a lawyer that would almost centainly find her guilty.

Edd looked forward, a decision finally made.

“I've made my decision,” he started, “I am going to defend you whether you want me to or not!”

Everybody in the room looked completely shocked, Maya moreso than the others.

Eddy spoke up. “Hold the phone!”

[ ](http://fav.me/d57jwvo)

“You already did this joke in the _previous chapter_ , John!”

Well, I'm sure it was released a couple of months ago, so I can use it again, right?

“You released it just yesterday!”

You know I'm making this a [running gag](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningGag), right?

“Whatever... anyway, Double D, why are you choosing to defend Maya?”

Edd did not respond, as he was deep within his thoughts at the moment.

“ _(Nobody is as sad as somebody without any friends... I know. I've been there. A long time ago. Before I moved to Peach Creek. Why did I become a lawyer in the first place? Because somebody has to look out for people who have nobody on their side.)_ ”

Edd then spoke up. “Maya... We will not abandon you. You can count on us.”

Pause.

“Ya know, Double D...” Eddy spoke up. “I was gonna suggest _you_ defended Maya too...”  
“That is so kind of you guys...” Maya spoke up.  
“You guys make me wanna cry...” Ed spoke up.

* * *

“Well then!” Edd tried to lift up everybody's spirits. “Let us fight this one and get you out of here!”  
“Right! Thank you!” Maya spoke up.  
“One last question... you are innocent, right?”  
“Yes! And I trust you... so you trust me too, okay?”  
“Deal,” Eddy said, then whispered to Edd, “ _Something's been bugging me, Double D... while I was at the hotel, I saw something in that chick's drawer, but I didn't get to see it. When I tried to look into it, she exploded on me! Do ya think we can go see it now?_ ”  
“ _There has to be something in there... sure, we can go check it out,_ ” Edd whispered back.

* * *

“Good afternoon, sirs!” When the Eds came back to the hotel room, a bellboy was in the room. April May was nowhere to be found.  
“I beg your pardon, but you are...?” Edd spoke up.  
“I am the bellboy of this establishment, at your service.”  
“Oh, yes, right.”  
“I've just come up to deliver room service,” the bellboy explained.  
“Do ya know where April May is?” Eddy asked.  
“I believe Miss May is currently using the, er, facilities...?”  
“Bathroom. Gotcha,” Eddy said.  
“If you're no need of anything, I'll be taking my leave. Please, stay as long as you like. Enjoy...”

And with that, the bellboy left the room.

“ _Now's our chance, Double D!_ ” Eddy whispered to Edd.

Before he knew it, though, the bellboy came back, claiming he forgot something.

“Gah! What the fuck, man?!” Eddy startled.  
“Might I ask you to inform Miss May that there is a message for her?” the bellboy asked. “Please tell her that Mr. White, of Bluecorp phoned.”  
“ _You do it, Double D,_ ” Eddy whispered to Edd. “ _I am_ not _talking to her again!_ ”

And with that, the bellboy left the room. For real, this time.

“Hey, Double D,” Eddy suddenly spoke up. “Doesn't the name that guy gave sound familiar?”

> _**White...** That was his name. My sister told me._

“'White' is the name of the man who ruined Mia and Maya's mother!” Edd excitedly stated. “Is it a coincidence, maybe?”  
“Coincidence, shmoincidence,” Eddy spoke up. “It's him, I know it! Anyway, let's just get what we came here for and get outta here!”  
“Oh, oh! Can I do it, Double D?” Ed asked, jumping up and down excitedly.  
“Be my guest, Ed.”

And with that, Ed jumped into the drawer.

“Pick paper up, pick paper up, pick paper up...” he stated as he was emptying the drawer.

A wiretap fell out of the drawer. Edd picked it up.

“Well, well, well... what do we have here?”  
“What's that?” Eddy asked.  
“It's a wiretap, Eddy. It's is used to tap into phone lines so you can hear private conversations without the speakers realizing it,” Edd explained.  
“What would _her_ be doing with a thing like that?” asked Eddy.  
“Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar, Eddy,” Edd suggested.

_Wiretap added to the Court Record._

“There's something real fishy about this 'Miss May'!” Eddy stated. “Why would she have something like this in her hotel room?”  
“Maybe she's a spy, Eddy!” suggested Ed, already out of the drawer.  
“Get real, Ed! Do ya _think_ she's a spy?”  
“A spy or not, this evidence will definitely be used in tomorrow's trial, that is for sure,” Edd stated. “For Maya's sake... I'll get to this woman's bottom!”

Ed and Eddy could not help but give a giggle at Edd's statement.

“Wait... I mean... Oh, you know what I mean. _(Dear Lord, it's the sextant all over again!)_ ”

April May's voice was suddenly heard.

“Oh, bellboy...? Still there?”  
“Oh shit, it's April May! Time to scram!” And with that, Eddy placed an orange portal on the floor. He and Ed went straight through it. Before Edd did, though, he was able to give one last piece of thought.  
“ _(I look forward to tangoing with you tomorrow, Miss May... in court!)_ ”

_**To be continued...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a lot less time to make than the previous one. Maybe because this chapter has less content.


	9. To Court!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of ideas in this section--mainly the cross-examinations--were taken from [Kristoph Gavin: Ace Attorney](http://theotaku2.50.forumer.com/kristoph-gavin-ace-attorney-11-09-11-t446895.html).
> 
> Oh yeah, and if you don't get the shout out I added in this chapter, [check this page](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/PokemonVietnameseCrystal).

**September 7, 9:30 AM**   
**Peach Creek**   
**Outside Eddy's House**

Eddy just left his house to go to the courthouse. He originally decided to just simply drive his way to there, it wasn't that far away, anyway. He checked his watch.

“ _(9:30... if I take the car I'll be late,)_ ” he thought to himself. “ _(I know Double D will scold me if I'm late. Better use my good ol' fashioned way.)_ ”

He went back in and opened the drawers to his closet. There was a big box on the floor inside the closet. Eddy opened the box and took out his portal gun.

“ _(I told him I knew where I put this. Now let's see if I have a clear shot...)_ ”

He looked out the window. Nope, doesn't look like it.

He then left the building, moving outside the cul-de-sac. Now it seemed like he did. Eddy fired a blue portal at the horizon. He then fired an orange portal under him, going through it.

Eddy looked at his surroundings.

“Shit, this isn't it!” he exclaimed.

* * *

**September 7, 9:40 AM**   
**Peach Creek**   
**Ed's House**

Sarah knocked the door to Ed's room. “Ed, you're gonna miss the trial,” she reminded Ed. “Are you still asleep?”

No response. Sarah sighed.

“I suppose I'll have to come in...”

And with that, she turned the knob and went in. Ed's room was still as filthy as it always was. Guess Ed doesn't like to clean up his room. Still, he always had to clean up his sister's room. So I don't see what the big deal is, I mean it's pretty much the same thing and... oh, sorry, Sarah. I guess I got a bit off-topic there. You can stop looking at me like that.

As she expected, Ed was fast asleep. She looked at him.

“How did Eddy do this again...? Oh yeah,” she then grabbed Ed's shirt and shook him violently. “Wake up, Goldilocks!”

Ed was finally awake, the first thing seeing is Sarah.

“Hiya baby sister!” he stated.  
“Get up, Ed, you're gonna miss the trial,” she reminded him. “You were late at the last one and you blamed me again! I'm not your alarm clock, you know?”  
“That's what Eddy said,” Ed informed.  
“Eddy's totally right,” Sarah agreed. “Now get dressed. You got twenty minutes before the trial starts.” And with that, Sarah left the room. Ed then got into his drawer and got out a big box. He opened it, taking out a portal gun.  
“Twenty minutes is all I need,” he stated.

* * *

**September 7, 10:00 AM**   
**Peach Creek District Court**   
**Courtroom No. 1**

The trial was just about to begin. Eddy was able to pull some strings (some very big ones, I might add) and got himself a place in the defense lobby, along with Ed. Who, by the way, was late. Again.

Eddy looked around. “Where is that lump?”

As if on cue, a red portal popped up, Ed coming out of it.

“There ya are, Ed! Sarah didn't wake ya up, or what?”  
“She did, Eddy,” Ed told Eddy.  
“Then why are ya late?”  
“I... placed my portals in the wrong spot.”  
“Me too, but I made it in time! Just... close that portal and sit down. The trial is about to start.”

As if on cue, the judge banged his gavel, silence restoring in the courtroom.

“Court is now in session for the trial of Maya Fey.”  
“The prosecution is ready, Your Honour.”  
“The defense is ready, Your Honour.”  
“Double D's been looking at that prosecutor in a very weird way...” Eddy stated. “I wonder what he's thinking...”

Luckily, I can read minds, so let's hear it!

“ _(Miles Edgeworth... Better not show any signs of weakness today, or he will be on me in an instant!)_ ”

Huh. Expected something better. Are you happy now, Eddy?

“Sure am. Thanks, John.”  
“Mr. Edgeworth,” the judge requested. “Please give the court your opening statement.”  
“Thank you, Your Honour. The defendant, Ms. Maya Fey, was at the scene of the crime. The prosecution has evidence she commited this murder, and we have a witness who saw her do it. The prosecution sees no reason to doubt the facts of this case.”  
“I see,” the judge stated, nodding in approval. “Thank you, Mr. Edgeworth. Let's begin then. You may call your first witness.”  
“The prosecution calls the chief officer at the scene, Detective Gumshoe!”

* * *

“Witness, please state your name and profession to the court.”  
“Sir!” Kevin started. “My name's Kevin Gumshoe, sir! I'm the detective in charges of homicides down at the precinct, sir!”  
“ _(Geez, Kev, no need to get so pro, this isn't the army!)_ ” Eddy thought to himself.  
“Detective Gumshoe. Please describe for us te details of this murder.”  
“Very well, sir! Let me use this floor map of the office to explain.”

And with that, Kevin took out a map. He pointed towards near the bottom center, stating that was where the body was found.

“And the cause of death?”  
“Loss of blood due to being struck by a blunt object, sir! The murder weapon was a statue of 'The Thinker' found next to the body, sir! It was heavy enough to be a deadly weapon, even in a girl's hands, sir!”  
“The court accepts the statue as evidence,” the judge stated.  
“ _They're still calling that thing a statue..._ ” Eddy whispered.

_EDD!PLAN BAG FUCK_   
_...wait, I mean..._   
_Floor Plans added to the Court Record._

“Now, Detective...”  
“Y-yes sir!”  
“You immediately arrested Ms. Maya Fey, who was found at the crime scene, correct? Can you tell me why?”  
“Yes, sir! I had hard evidence she did it, sir!”  
“Detective Gumshoe,” the judge spoke up, “Please testify to the court about this 'hard evidence'.”

> _Witness Testimony: Maya Fey's Arrest_
> 
> _As soon as the phone call came in, I rushed to the scene! There were two people there already: The defendant, Ms. Maya Fey, and the lawyer, Mr. Eddward Wright. Oh, and I suppose Ed and Eddy too, but that's not important. Anyway! I immediately arrested Ms. Maya Fey! Why? We had a witness account describing her! The witness saw Ms. Maya Fey at the very moment of the murder!_

“Whatdda ya mean I'm not important?!” Eddy shouted.  
“Mr. Wright,” the judge spoke up, “you may begin your cross-examination.”  
“Y-yes, Your Honour. _(Cross-examine what...? I saw no contradictions in that testimony...)_ ”

Suddenly, a piece of paper was flown directly to Eddy's face, with a distinctive SMACK!

“Hey! Who's the wise guy?”

Edd took the paper and read it for himself.

“ _When my sister couldn't find any contradictions in a witness's testimony, she would bluff it and press the witness on every detail! The witness always slips up and says something wrong... It worked lots of times!_ ”  
“Should have expected Maya to know some of her sister's tricks,” Eddy stated, him done with the reading too. “Give it a try, Double D.”

> _Cross-Examination: Maya Fey's Arrest_
> 
> _The witness saw Ms. Maya Fey at the very moment of the murder!_

“ _ **Hold it!**_ If my sources are correct—and they usually are—you yourself stated that you arrested the defendant due to 'hard evidence', am I correct?”  
“Did I say that?” Kevin asked.  
“I heard you say it,” Edd pointed out.  
“Pretty sure ya said it,” Eddy responded.  
“What precisely in this suspicious woman in pink's claim was 'hard evidence'?”  
“Miss May isn't suspicious, Double D, and she sure isn't pink!” Kevin stated. “Well, maybe she _is_ pink...”  
“That's enough, Detective Gumshoe,” the judge spoke up. “Do you have any more solid proof other than her claims?”  
“Oh yeah, I do! Sorry, I got the order of things messed up in that last testimony, Your Honour Sir! There was something I should have said first!”  
“Very well, Detective. Let's hear your testimony again.”

> _Witness Testimony: Hard Evidence_
> 
> _After securing the suspect, I examined the scene of the crime with my own eyes. I found a memo written on a piece of paper next to the victim's body! On it, the word "Maya" was written clearly in blood! Lab test results showed that the blood was the victim's! Also, there was blood found on the victim's finger! Before she died, the victim wrote the killer's name!_
> 
> “How ya like that? That's my hard evidence!”

“Before we begin cross-examination, a question for you, Detective.”  
“Yes, Your Honour?”  
“Why didn't you testify about this vital piece of evidence _the first time?_ ”  
“I know... I'm real embarrassed I forgot about it, Your Honour Sir.”  
“Try to be more careful!” The judge ten turned towards Edd. “Very well, the defense may begin its cross-examination.”

> _Cross-Examination: Hard Evidence_
> 
> _Before she died, the victim wrote the killer's name!_

“ _ **Objection!**_ Detective Gumshoe! One thing for you to clarify for me here: you say the victim wrote this note, accusing the defendant. Am I correct?”  
“This isn't one of those there lawyer tricks, now is it? Of course she wrote it! Who else could have?”  
“You have it backwards, Kevin,” Edd stated. “The victim is the only one who absolutely could NOT have written it!”

Edd flashed out the autopsy report.

“This is a report from your department. It states that 'death was instantaneous'. Which means _she died immediately!_ ”  
“But-”  
“Don't 'but' yaself outta this one, Kev!” Eddy spoke up.

The crowd was starting to go wild. The judge banged his gavel.

“Order! Order! The defense has a point. Someone who died immediately wouldn't have had the time to write anything down.”  
“ _ **Objection!**_ Mr. Wright. I beg your pardon, but when exactly did you obtain this autopsy report?”  
“It was the day before the murder...”  
“What's your point?” asked Eddy.  
“That autopsy report is outdated. A second autopsy was performed yesterday, at my request. 'Dead from a blow by a blunt object. May have lived for several minutes after being hit.' I received these results this morning.”  
“No way!” the Eds shouted in unison.  
“Your Honour! It's quite possible to image that the victim _did_ have time to write 'Maya'! That is all.”  
“Damn you, Edgeworth!” Eddy said under his breath. “I should have expected shit like this!”  
“Why, Mr. Wright, you look shocked: something you'd like to say?”  
“Mr. Edgeworth...” Edd spoke up. “I have heard there is nothing you will not do for your verdict... what reason could you possibly have had to request a second autopsy report?”  
“Mr. Wright! The defense _will_ refrain from personal attacks on the prosecution!” the judge spoke up.  
“Say what you will, the evidence in this report is undeniable. Your Honour, I submit this report to the court.”  
“U-understood. The court accepts the evidence.”

_Mia's Autopsy Report updated in the Court Record._

“Well, Your Honour? The evidence strongly suggests the victim was identifying the killer.”  
“I suppose that _is_ the obvious conclusion, yes,” the judge spoke up.  
“Shit! This isn't good!” Eddy said under his breath.  
“The prosecution would like to call its next witness. This poor, innocent girl saw the murder with her own eyes!”  
“Innocent, my ass...” Eddy said under his breath.


	10. Tangoing with April May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's an holiday today as I'm writing this, so let's write ourselves a fanfiction! No more Schedule Slips for me! I have a Pinkie Promise to keep, after all.  
> In other words, please read the TV Tropes page for this fanfic. There is something there that you should read. (oh wait, I need to work on a cover image before I work on this first. Please excuse me.)

It was really hard for Eddy to keep a straight face on April: he hasn't forgotten what she did yesterday—and neither did her, he's assuming.

"Witness, your name, please," the prosecution started.  
"April May! At your service!"

April's introduction caused the crowd to go wild, especially the wink at the end of it. The judge had to bang the gavel to restore order.

"Order! An introduction should not require any reaction from the crowd! The witness will refrain from wonton winking!"  
"Awww... yes, Your Honour."  
"I don't like that witch..." Eddy spoke up.  
"Don't you mean...?" Edd asked.  
"Of course I do! I just can't say it here because it's a courthouse!"  
"Tell us," the prosecution asked, "where were you on the night of September 5, when the murder occurred?"  
"I was, like, in my hotel room," April stated. "I checked in right after lunch."  
"And this hotel is directly across from the Fey & Co. Law Offices, correct?"  
"That's right, big boy."  
"Please testify to the court about what you saw," the judge requested.

> _Witness Testimony: Witness's Account_
> 
> _It was, like, 9:00 at night. I looked out the window, y'know! And then, oooh! I saw a woman with long hair being attacked! The one attacking her was the mousey girl sitting in the defendant's chair! Then the woman, like, dodged to one side and ran away! But that girl, she caught up to her and... and... She hit her! Then the woman with the long hair... she kinda... slumped._
> 
> "The end. That's all I saw. Every little bitsy witsy! *wink*"

"This is a remarkably solid testimony," the judge stated. "I don't see a need to trouble the witness any..."  
"Objection, Your Honour!" Eddy spoke up, then gave a small giggle. "I always wanted to say that in a courthouse... anyway, we still need to do a cross-examination!"  
"I have to agree with Eddy," Edd spoke up.  
"I thought the witness's testimony was quite... firm," the judge spoke up. "Didn't you?"  
"Mr. Wright," the prosecution spoke up, "I understand you were Ms. Mia Fey's understudy, were you not? You must know her techniques well. Her cowardly way of finding tiny flaws in perfectly good testimonies..."  
"Hey! What's your problem, buddy?" Eddy spoke up.  
"Well, Mr. Wright? Will you cross-examine the witness?" the judge asked Edd.  
"I'll gladly proceed with the cross-examination," Edd responded. " _(If only because I have a feeling Edgeworth doesn't want me to!)_ "

> _Cross-Examination: Witness's Account_
> 
> _But that girl, she caught up to her and... and... She hit her!_

" _ **Hold it!**_ How did you know it was my client?"  
"First of all, she had a girl's physique! And secondly, she was... small! Who else could it be but her?"  
"Hold on a second there, missy!" Eddy spoke up. "Your testimony stinks! April May, you are lying!"  
"I have to agree with Eddy," Edd spoke up, "Did you really see the defendant?"  
"Mr. Wright!" the judge exclaimed. "What is the meaning of this?"  
"Yeah! Somebody tell me because I'm clueless!" April spoke up. "About this, I mean!"  
"Very well then..." Edd spoke up. "If you really had witnessed my client, you would have first noticed her clothes!"

Bingo. That's bringing the pain on April, Double D!

"Nobody wears clothes like that on a daily basis! Except her, of course. And I am no expert on fashion—I'll have to ask 'her' again for that scientist—but her hairstyle is far from 'normal' to me! The witness's testimony mentions neither her clothes nor her hairstyle!"  
"Still, we don't know if she was dressed like that the night of the murder..." the judge spoke up.  
"She was, Your Honour!" Edd responded. "I saw her."  
"I second that," Eddy spoke up. "I saw her too. And so did Kevin!"  
"I saw her too!" Ed suddenly spoke up.  
"You've been quiet, Ed..." Eddy told Ed. "What's with that?"  
"John doesn't know how to add me to the story, that's all," Ed explained.  
"If ya say so... Anyway, whaddaya say to that, Miss May?"  
"What are you two trying to say?" April spoke up. "I saw what I saw. I just didn't think all the trifling little details were necessary."  
"Miss May," the judge spoke up, "The court would like to remind you to please omit nothing in your testimony."  
"I'm sorry, Your Honour. I'll be a good girl, I promise."  
"Your testimony again, if you please," the judge requested.  
"God damnit, we almost had her!" Eddy said under his breath.

> _Witness Testimony: Witness's Account_
> 
> _I did see everything! I did! The victim—the woman—dodged the first attack and ran off to the right. Then the girl in the hippie clothes ran after her... And she hit her with that weapon! I saw it! I did! That... that clock! Um... the kinda statue-y clock? "The Thinker,"I think?_
> 
> "Well? Does the accuracy of my report not startle you? Tee hee!"

"I wish you had been so detailed in the beginning," the judge spoke up. "Please begin the cross-examination."

> _Cross-Examination: Witness's Account_
> 
> _That... that clock! Um... the kinda statue-y clock? "The Thinker,"I think?_

" _ **Objection!**_ Miss May. What you said just now was quite... revealing."  
"Oooh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you naughty little lawyer..."  
"Don't give us any ideas!" Eddy spoke up.

Edd presented the murder weapon.

"You just said this statue was a clock," he explained. "But there is no way of knowing that by simply looking at this object. Another individual in much the same position as yourself recently called this a clock, as well..."  
"And he was found guilty..." Eddy concluded, "of murder!"

Eddy's words made the audience startle. The judge banged his gavel.

"Order in the court! _Order in the court!_ "  
"Okay!" Ed spoke up. "I'll have a cheeseburger with curly fries!"  
"Didn't John use this joke already?" asked Eddy.  
"Oh come on, Eddy, it's been forever since he did!" Ed spoke up.  
"Can you explain how this was a clock, Miss May?" asked Edd.  
" _ **Objection!**_ The witness saw the murder with her own eyes!" stated the prosecution. "That's all that's important here! The defense is trying to confuse the issue with trivial concerns!"  
"Yes... yes, of course," the judge agreed. "You will withdraw your question, Mr. Wright."  
" _ **Objection!**_ But questions are all I have, Your Honour! And, as you may recall, I have caught murderers with these questions! _(Only once, anyway...)_ "

Pause. The judge then banged his gavel.

"Objection sustained," he stated, "You may continue to question the witness."  
"Thank you, Your Honour. Miss May, how did you know the statue was a clock?"  
"Because... I heard it?" April answered. "Yes! I heard it say the time!"  
"So, ya've been to the crime scene, then!" Eddy exclaimed.  
"N-n-no! I didn't say that! Why would I go there?" April defended herself. "I heard it from my hotel room."  
"The crime scene is very close to the hotel," the prosecution stated. "She could have easily heard the clock from there."  
"Are you satisfied, Mr. Wright?" the judge asked.

Edd looked at Eddy. He had Maya's cell phone in his hands. He nodded in approval at Edd, who nodded back.

"Your Honour, members of the court," Edd stated. "it is inconceivable that the clock in question rang, as it is missing its clockwork!"  
"How could you possibly...?" the judge started, but he was interrupted.  
"Just look inside... as soon as possible."

The judge took the clock and looked inside it.

"See anything interesting?"  
"It is as the defense says! The clock is missing its clockwork! It's quite empty. Mr. Wright, would you care to explain to the court the meaning of this?"  
"It is as you see," Edd stated. "The 'clock' is empty. It could not have rung."  
"Therefore the witness is a big, fat, stinkin' liar!" Eddy teased.  
"F-fat?!"  
"Quite a show you've put up for us, Mr. Wright," the prosecution stated. "But I'm afraid you forgot one thing: when was the clockwork removed? If it was after the witness heard the clock, there is no contradiction."  
"Well, Mr. Wright? Can you prove when the clockwork was removed?"  
"Yes, I can," Edd stated. "Eddy, if you please..."

Eddy gave the phone to Edd, who then presented it to the court, with a strong " _ **Take that!**_ ".

"Hmm..." the judge stated. "That's a very cute cell phone."  
"Ooh hoo! You have a girlie phone!" April teased.  
"It's not ours, you idiot!" Eddy teased back. "Just... listen to the damn phone!"

> _\- Now, now. You know I'm only teasing. Ah, I should probably tell you, the clock isn't talking right now.  
>  \- Huh? It's not working? That's lame!  
>  \- I had to take the clockwork out. Sorry._

"Your Honour..." Edd spoke up. "I think this recording makes it very clear the clockwork was already gone... and it was recorded in the morning, _before_ the witness even arrived at her hotel! Miss May, would you care to explain this to the court?"

Pause.

"Well, isn't it o-obvious? I saw it before!" April tried to explain. "What store was it again? I-I go to so many!"  
"I see..." the judge stated. "The witness had seen the clock before. Any objections, Mr. Wright?"  
"Yes, Your Honour. It's quite simple, actually. This clock was never displayed in any kind of store whatsoever. A good friend of mine made the clock, and only two of its kind exist. The one that is not here is in police custody."  
"I-impossible! Everything is sold in stores!"  
"It's high time you went shopping for a better excuse, May!" Eddy teased.

Pause.

"Excuses not or sale today, or what?" he added.

That did it. April completely lost it.

"What is to you, sockhead?!" she started.  
"Hey, only I can call him a sockhead!" Eddy stated.  
"That stupid clock doesn't matter, okay?!" April continued. "She did it! And she should die for it!"  
"W-w-whoa! Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. This is a court of law, and the witness _will_ remain calm!"

As quickly as she lost her temper, April recovered it. Ed even claimed it was scary.

"Miss May," the judge stated. "Let me ask: how did you know the weapon was a clock?"

No response.

"Does the defense have any opinion on this behaviour?"  
" _OK, this is it, Double D!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd.  
"Yes, Your Honour," Edd spoke up. "Allow me to explain how I see the truth of the matter."


	11. Wiretapping and Ice Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been nearly two hours and I just now started to work on this thing. It doesn't help that Internet Explorer wouldn't download No$GBA for me. I would install Dropbox, but everything on the PC is reset when it shuts down, like the disk is a CMOS or something. Not to mention I need a word processor: I would use LibreOffice, but I don't know how to add horizontal rulers to the text in it. It usually is in the Insert menu, but it's not there.
> 
> And as it turns out, the group on deviantArt only takes the original. The only difference is in the characters! It's still basically the same...

"The witness had never held the clock in her hand," Edd explained. "However, she had obtained information that it was a clock."  
"She 'heard'...?" the judge asked, perplexed.  
"That is correct, Your Honour. There is no other way she could have known 'The Thinker' was a clock. And I can show you the proof! Eddy, if you please."

Eddy handed Maya's phone to Edd, who then presented it with a " _ **Take that!**_ ".

"Take another listen to the conversation between the defendant and the victim," Edd requested.

> _\- Mia! What's up? You haven't called in a while._   
>  _\- Sorry, I've been so busy. How you been?_   
>  _\- Well, LONELY. And it's all YOUR fault. Nah, I'm just teasing. I've been great! I'm finally getting used to having my own place._   
>  _\- That's good to hear. Actually, I'm calling because I have a favour to ask._   
>  _\- I know, I know. You want me to hold evidence for you?_   
>  _\- Sharp as always! There's a lot of buzz about the upcoming trial... I just don't feel safe keeping the evidence here._   
>  _\- I gotcha. So, what is it this time?_   
>  _\- It's... ** **a clock** **. _   
>  _\- A clock?_   
>  _\- Yeah, it's made to look like that statue, "The Thinker." And it tells you the time!_

"They do mention 'The Thinker'," the judge agreed. "But how would the witness know of this conversation? Do you have proof that she knew of this conversation?"  
"Yes, we do, Your Honour! _**Take that!**_ " Eddy shouted, followed by a small giggle. "I always wanted to say that in a courthouse... anyway, take a look at... what is this thing again, Double D?"  
"It's a wiretap. And we found it in Miss May's room."  
"Mr. Wright! Please explain to the court what this means!" the judge requested.  
"Miss May, you used this wiretap to listen to the conversation," Edd suggested. "That is how you know 'The Thinker' was a clock. Am I right or am I wrong?"  
" _ **Objection!**_ Your Honour, this is ridiculous!"  
"Just look at her face!" Eddy shouted. "Does she seem, well, _amused_ to you? The defense demands an answer!"  
"Stop stealing my lines, Eddy," Edd requested.  
"Tell that to John, not me," Eddy responded.  
"Witness, answer the question," the judge asked April. "Did you tap her phone?"

No response.

"Miss May!"  
"SHUT UP! All of you! What gives you the right to talk to ME like that? You... you LAWYER!"

Pause for dramatic effect.

"I-it's no fair!" April stated, returning to her innocent self. "All of you g-ganging up on me like that... oh, so I'm the bad girl now, is that it?" April then started to cry.  
" _This is it, Double D!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd. " _The court's seeing the real April May now! Deal the final blow!_ "  
"Why did you tap her phone?" Edd asked April. She did not respond.  
"Answer the question, missy!" Eddy shouted.  
"Do I have to?" April asked. "Isn't this a murder trial? Isn't tippity-tapping, er... irrelevant?"  
"You were tapping the victim's phone! I hardly call that irrelevant!"  
"While this court does not condone the defense's tone of speech, he has a point," the judge stated. "Well, Miss May? Do you have an explanation for the court? Can you prove you had nothing to do with the murder, even though you tapped the victim's phone?"  
" _(Hah! I'd like to see her pull THAT off!)_ " Eddy thought to himself, grinning.  
"I saw that evil, evil grin of yours, mister!" April spoke up. "You were probably thinking 'I'd like to see her pull THAT off', weren't you?"  
"Dammit, she's good!"  
"Well you're not the first man who's thought that!" April continued. "And of course... I can, and will!"  
"You can't be serious," Eddy said, in a monotone tone.  
"I assure you I'm serious!" April said, then explained: "So, the killing happened at about 9:00 at night? Why, that's just when I was getting room service from that sweet bellboy..."  
"Room service?" Eddy spoke up.  
"Ice coffee, I believe it was? Like normal coffee, but _COLD_. If you don't drink it quick, the ice melts and then you have...regular, cold coffee."  
"Ice... coffee?" Eddy repeated.  
"Think I'm making this up? Ask the bellboy!"  
"Ergo, the witness was not on the scene at the time of the murder," the prosecution concluded.  
"So where does that leave us?" asked the judge.  
"It is my great displeasure to inform you that the witness appears to have been tapping the victim's telephone," the prosecution explained. "However! That is a separate crime, with no bearing on the current case whatsoever. Her testimony stands: she saw the defendant commit murder!"  
" _They're gonna let her just walk away!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd. " _Do something, Double D!_ "  
"Does the defense have anything to say?" the judge asked.  
"The defense would like to call the hotel bellboy as a witness," Edd requested. "There is something suspicious there, and I am going to get to the bottom of it!"  
"I think you've sunken quite low enough already," April stated.  
" _ **Objection!**_ I object to calling the bellboy!" the prosecution stated.  
"Why?" was Eddy's response.  
"Because I hold that the wiretapping had nothing to do with the killing," the prosecution responded. "However, if you agree to one condition, I'll consent to calling this witness."  
"Which is...?" Eddy asked.  
"If Miss May's alibi is not called into question after you examine the bellboy, you will recognize that she is not the killer, therefore, she is innocent. Therefore you must accept the verdict of 'guilty' for Ms. Maya Fey. That is my condition."  
" _(What the fuck?!)_ " Eddy thought to himself, then whispered to Edd, " _Ya'd better find something suspicious in that bellboy's testimony, Double D... or else!_ "  
" _I have nothing to lose anyway... except, well, everything,_ " Edd whispered back, then spoke up. "Understood. I accept your condition."  
"Very well. The court calls the hotel bellboy to the stand," the judge requested.

* * *

"I believe we're ready for the witness to testify. He certainly does look like a bellboy."  
"Yes, sir," the bellboy responded. "I received your summons in the middle of work, sir. I'm happy to be of service."  
"That tea set looks rather heavy, so without further ado," the judge spoke up, "the witness may begin his testimony."  
"Very good, sir."

> _Witness Testimony: Miss May's Room Service_
> 
> _I am the head bellboy at the fine Gatewater Hotel, in business for four generations! I believe I recieved a call after 8:00 in the evening from our guest, Miss May. She asked for an ice coffee to be brought to her at 9:00, on the dot, sir. I brought it to her at precisely the requested time, of course. And I delivered the ice coffee to our guest Miss May, herself._

"The defense may begin its cross-examination," the judge requested.  
" _This is it, Double D!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd. " _If ya can't prove April's tied in, Maya's toast!_ "

> _Cross-Examination: Miss May's Room Service_
> 
> _She asked for an ice coffee to be brought to her at 9:00, on the dot, sir._

" _ **Hold it!** _ 9:00 'on the dot', you say?"  
"Yes, I confirmed that detail several times," the bellboy explained. "She was watching a program on the TV, and wished to drink after she finished, sir."  
"That's the time of the murder, alright," Eddy said under his breath.

> _I brought it to her at precisely the requested time, of course._

" _ **Hold it!**_ 'Precisely' 9:00, then?"  
"Precisely, exactly, and most definitely, sir. 9:00 PM."  
"How are you so sure?" Eddy asked.  
"Miss May was quite insistent that it be brought then," the bellboy explained. "'Oh, bellboy? Tee hee! I'd like, like, ice coffee at exactly 9:00!' Something like that, sir. Therefore, I knocked on her door at the crack of 9, sir."  
"Why exactly 9 o'clock?" Eddy asked under his breath.

> _And I delivered the ice coffee to our guest Miss May, herself._

" _ **Hold it!**_ You are sure it was April May herself?"  
"Ab- _SO-_ lutely, sir."  
"Ab-SO-lutely...?" Eddy repeated.  
"Yes, sir. As in, 'so very absolutely,' sir. It's an endearing mannerism of mine."  
"How come you're so certain?" Eddy asked.  
"Well, when I brought the room service, sir," the bellboy explained, blushing. "She... favoured me w-with an 'embrasser', sir."  
"An emb-what now?" Eddy asked. "Is that French? I suck at French."  
"It's French for 'kiss,' sir," the bellboy explained. "But not a french kiss, sir! More of a peck on the cheek."  
"Why'd she do that?" Edd asked.  
"I believe perhaps, she was momentarily swayed by my prim demeanor, sir," the bellboy guessed. "It was a moment I shall never, ever forget, sir."  
" _Sounds pretty fishy to me,_ " Eddy whispered at Edd. " _I think April was up to something and wanted the bellboy to remember her!_ "

* * *

" _(There's nothing there!)_ " Edd thought to himself. " _(Is... that it?)_ "  
"I'm pretty sure it's not, Double D," Ed spoke up. "Don't worry, there's a way outta this!"  
"Ed, how can you read Double D's thoughts?" Eddy asked.  
"I'm reading John's script," Ed responded.  
"Tsk tsk. Finally, you understand," the prosecution stated. "The bellboy has absolutely no reason to lie. Now, if you have any decency, you will end this rather tedious cross-examination here."  
"It _was_ a bit tedious," the judge agreed. "The witness may leave the stand."  
" _Double D! DO something!_ " Eddy whispered at Edd.  
"W-wait! Please hold!" Edd tried to say.  
"Does the defense have something to add?" the judge asked.  
"Allow me to ask one more question," Edd requested.  
" _ **Objection!**_ Your Honour, I must object. This charade of justice has gone on long enough."  
"Now, now, Mr. Edgeworth," the judge spoke up. "Very well, Mr. Wright. I'll give you one question, that's all."  
" _This is your last chance, Double D..._ " Eddy whispered at Edd.  
"Tell me again about the... room service!"  
"A-again, sir?" the bellboy asked. "At exactly 9, I delivered room service to Miss May in room 303. The guest had requested ice coffee... $18 was the charge, as I recall."  
Eddy suddenly spoke up. "Hold the phone!"

"Eighteen dollars?! For ice coffee? That's a scam! And I should know, I know all about scams."  
"Y-yes, well, ice coffee for two, you know. And we don't skimp on the ice either, sir."  
"Wait a second... what did you just say...?" Edd suddenly asked. "Was _someone else_ staying in April's room?"  
" _ **Objection!**_ I object! [That was... objectionable!](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThatWasObjectionable)"  
"Overruled," the judge spoke up.  
"Big surprise there," Eddy spoke up.  
"Why did you not mention this in your testimony?" asked Edd.  
"W-well, sir... you didn't ask!"  
" _(Nice try, buddy!)_ " Eddy thought to himself, then spoke up. "That's the kind of thing ya _need_ to say!"  
"It was the, er, good barrister there, Mr. Edgeworth, who... well, he asked me not to mention it if I wasn't specifically asked, sir."  
"I knew it..." Eddy said under his breath.

* * *

"We did it... we won, Double D!"  
"Group hug!" Ed stated, hugging Edd and Eddy tight.

* * *

"Miss April May checked into a twin room... with a man," Edd explained. "Am I correct?"  
"Yes, sir," the bellboy approved.  
"When you brought them room service, you did not see that man in the room, did you?"  
"No, I did not, sir."  
"Your Honour! We have just heard of another individual who may have very well been the murderer! In this new light, I hold that it is impossible to judge the defendant. You agree, right, Mr. Edgeworth?"  
"Who! Who is this 'other person'?"  
"Simple: the man who checked in with Miss May!"

Pause.

"As it has previously been revealed, Miss May was tapping the victim's phone. Yet, Miss May has an alibi at the time of the murder."  
"But that doesn't clear the man that was _with her_!" Eddy spoke up. "The bellboy saw no one else!"  
"The court acknowledges the defense's argument," the judge stated. "I expect the prosecution and defense to look into this matter fully. Am I understood?"  
"Yes... *gasp* Yes, Your Honour."  
"That is all today for the trial of Maya Fey. Court is adjourned."

And with a bang of the gavel, the trial was over. For now.

* * *

**September 7, 2:24 PM**   
**Peach Creek District Court**   
**Defendant Lobby No. 1**

"Mr. Wright!" Maya spoke up. "You were amazing in there! I think I might be your newest fan!"  
"What about me?" Eddy asked.  
"Oh, I was just 'doing my job', you know..." Edd stated, blushing.  
"Then again, that other attorney was pretty cool, too..."  
"...what?" was all Eddy had to say.  
"That face of his! With his eyes wide, and trembling lips! It sent shivers up my spine!"  
"It kinda scared me too.." Ed spoke up.  
"Is that why ya weren't talking so much?" Eddy asked Ed.  
"Maybe," was Ed's response.  
"So... what happens with me?" asked Maya. "Do I get to go home now?"  
"Well... no," was Eddy's response. "Not yet. But we got great leads in the trial!"  
"I concur, Eddy," Edd spoke up. "That man with Miss May: he's the key!"  
"What happened to Miss May after that, anyway?" asked Maya.  
"They arrested her, I think," was Eddy's response. "I guess she's learning her charms won't work everywhere. Probably at the PCDC right now. We may have to go there later."  
"Anyway," Edd spoke up. "This case is far from over."  
"Yes sir!" Maya spoke up.  
"We need to find more about this man," Eddy spoke up.  
"Do you think he was the one who...?"  
"Maybe. But doncha worry, Maya. We'll find her by tomorrow!"  
"I'm conting on you three, you know," Maya reminded.

* * *

" _I asked for a full record of April May's testimony. It might come in handy during the trial tomorrow. But now that I have it, I am not exactly sure. Most of her testimony was all lies... in fact, only one part got left on the record."_

_May Testimony added to the Court Record._

" _I do not know how much good this will do me, now. Anyway, time to hit the pavement and do some investigating! Maya does not belong in that detention center, and it's up to Ed, Edd n Eddy to get her free!"_

_**To be continued...** _


End file.
